2026 Week 41

A really quite unpleasant week at work for reasons I won't go into. Many things that could be written in my journal of reasons why I will be resigning, but I am starting to believe that I won't need it and I will manage to resign without the support of my previous words; in fact, the difficult bit will be working out the year. 

Happily, I was able to leave at breaktime on Friday and travel to London for an exam board thing, which was a bit amorphous but did involve some merch, including little branded cupcakes, and a catch up with current and previous bosses. Afterwards, we all went to a nearby pub for some drinks with the guys I see every year at the May conference I go to, and usually only then - what a treat to get an extra evening with them. There was a gradual peeling away until it was just two of us but we managed to make the evening last until 10.30. I didn't even really notice I hadn't eaten dinner until I was in bed later. 

It made me reflect a bit about how hard it can be to make friends as an adult and how it's even harder to make friends with members of the opposite sex, due to the obvious. I also met up with this one - R - in July for drinks but it feels hard to suggest meeting just the two of us. How do you do that without potentially sounding like you're asking them on a date? Or does it just not sound like that: is that not what is assumed? I will continue my experiments in this area. We're probably going to the theatre together in December; I finally felt able to ask after five rounds of drinks. Absurd. 

Saturday was a lovely sunny London day; I took myself to the Last Princesses of the Punjab exhibition at Kensington Palace, to a conference at the British Library, then on a long walk to Trafalgar Square via an ice cream shop recommended on Ruby Tandoh's central London ice cream map (I recommend this). Mango and Milo in a black cone. Lush. 

I had a quick wander around the National Gallery which closed much earlier than expected, then tried to catch a bus back to my hotel in Kensington. It drove straight past me but I remembered that, the previous night, I'd been stuck on said bus in traffic not much further on, so I walked its route and overtook it, catching it at Green Park, where a woman was sitting in the actual bus stop on her suitcase (why, just why). I got a very early night after some Sticks n Sushi and some sweet treats from Whole Foods and with the new book I've started, Land by Maggie O'Farrell (superb). I had a very restful night. 

This morning, I went over to Liberty and managed to get their last Bayeux Tapestry scarf. Then home. I am about to go to bed because I am not sure I will be able to hold out and not check my school email, but I want it to be a properly work-free weekend because that is on my early autumn list. It has been restorative and very much needed. Now only two weeks until half term and this week will be much easier because there are exams happening which halves my lesson count. And I have two nice dinners planned and a sauna booked. I can do this. I will prevail. 

As for the rest of the week - a bit of shawl knitting. I have been enjoying Celebrity Traitors and watched Trust Me on Netflix, about Mormon polygamist paedophiles. I had my nails done in a glorious shade of almost-sparkly navy that I can't stop looking at. Not much else to say. 

Summer Holiday Goals

Slowly getting round to posting all the things I've wanted to post. It's been nearly four weeks since dissertation hand in so I am feeling more like myself again. 

Oh look, almost all the failures were chores! I think I can cope with that. 

I think the dissertation was 17,000 words before I went back to work - not too shabby. I didn't quite manage sauna every week but I did do enough sauna visits to count as one a week, just about, so tick to that - and a number of different saunas, too. Plus the hot yogas: I managed to make a very sweaty summer deliberately sweaty. 

There were many swims. I thought 10 would be a challenge and was fully prepare to visit both my local pools if needed but it turned out to be quite easy and it made me go and swim in at least two places I might not have done otherwise. When I landed in Krakow seven hours earlier than Zoe, and then had to queue through passport control for over two hours, throwing myself in a body of water was basically the only thing I wanted to do with the time so I took public transport and then a walk and then had to figure out how to swim with my phone because I was too nervous to leave it on the beach (waterproof pouch ftw). It felt like half of Krakow was down there: what a treat to be a little like a local. 

I stopped counting the places I bought ice cream from because they were so numerous (best flavour: cherry poppyseed in Bratislava) and, although I listed cocktails there, there were also considerably more than five of those (best new cocktail: plum sour in Budapest). There were plenty of novels. I read The Names almost in one day on my journey to Krakow: it was a good distraction in the passport queue. I didn't really rate Yesteryear and James was OK (probably would be better if I'd read Huckleberry Finn before) but I loved the others. 

At home, I finished Euphoria - a fitting end; and we defrosted the freezer early in the holiday so I got it out of the way before the heavy dissertation work kicked in. I went to one Tuesday crafting and haven't been able to go since, but I'm hoping to be a more regular visitor. 

Workfree days? There were a couple. One of the exam board guys finished an email to me saying he hoped the board wouldn't be 'chasing me down the runway with scripts' which they sort of did, a record 44 came through to mark after I'd left the country, but then they did finally stop and I did have a couple of days of holiday when I didn't do any dissertation work, though they were days with excursions or travelling involved. But it was always going to be a stretch and it got me out of some house chores and it was only one summer. Next summer will be much different. 

 

2026 Week 38

The dissertation is in! I am free! 

It has been an interesting couple of days reflecting on it, because the worry about getting it done has been a fixture for a year but I sort of forgot that the rest of the course was around for a whole year before that, so it has been two years of thinking, in most free moments, that I could be doing some reading or writing. I had my good weight loss episode right at the start of the course but haven't managed to lose any more and now I am wondering (hoping) if it was the distraction that has prevented it. I also noticed that, even though Thursday was a tired day as I'd been up very late finishing, I was straight away able to bring more to my job than I had been since the start of term. The brain is such an interesting thing. I definitely wanted to do the Masters, but I'm not sure I really considered how much work it would be. 

Anyway, it's done now. I submitted around 1am on Thursday morning, shortly after my computer fully crashed as I tried to save it as a pdf for the 4th time (kept spotting mistakes) and wiped at least a month off my lifespan. Naturally all I can think now was about the bits I wish I hadn't put in, or said, but at the least it should pass so I should try to worry a bit less. 

I've spent the weekend lazing, mainly: a 2 hour afternoon nap on Saturday (cannot remember the last time I allowed myself to do this), a lunch and a book talk from Robert Harris with Rachael on Sunday. Many re-marks, obvs, but the deadline for those is Thursday so the end is in sight for that, too. 

I continue to read my library book, At First Light. I've almost caught up on Vigil. I went to the sauna for an impromptu Thursday session and they have a new sauna installed, very lovely. I made it to hot yoga on Saturday morning, and then knitting, where I cast on a new project. The Return of the Life. 

Tuesday Ten

Ten things I will do when this dissertation is handed in (roughly 36 hours to go)

1. Catch up on Vigil.

2. Lie in bed reading a novel I borrowed from the library in June.

3. Shop for orange sport weight yarn for a jumper I will probably never get round to knitting.

4. Wash the living room floor.

5. Apply for my alumna Bodleian library card.

6. List my expensive book on coding for resale on Amazon. Probably the one on systematic reviews as well. Spend the money on cakes. 

7. Book a spa night away with Mr Z. 

8. More blogging. 

9. Sort and donate the charity shop pile....now more whole-room than pile.

10. Go back to the gym. Whoever thought I'd be a person who missed the gym. 

One thing I hope not to do

1. Fixate on how much better it might have been if I'd spent more time on it. 

2026 Week 35

I have many posts I'd like to make about my summer, but really I need to save as much writing energy as I can for finishing the dissertation, so I will content myself with just a brief update about the past week. 

I spent last weekend down in Kent with my family, Mother Hand grew up there and wanted to take the grandchildren back to see it. We rented a house right next to the beach, so I got up each morning, donned swimwear and my dressing gown and then went out and got straight in the water. What a dream! I suppose I wouldn't be able to do this every day in my everyday life but I do wish I was living by the sea again. 

It was the usual family saga. I won't bore you. But I had a lot of fun with the niblings. 

I drove home on Monday and have spent most of the rest of the week seated at my computer, doing mark reviews, prepping school work or (the bulk) working on the dissertation. I'm just over 14,000 words now and feeling like the end of the first draft might be in sight. Maybe. I want to try to finish my results section today. 

There was some social activity as well. On Thursday I fitted in a quarry swim and dinner with my friend Caroline, whom I haven't seen in person for nearly two years. We had a great catch up, she is so much fun to hang out with. Then on Friday I went to the opening of the new Coconut Tree on Bristol centre with my local Bristol friends, our first get together since Christmas. Also lots of fun although we did not have great service, in spite of the fact there were at least seven people working front of house. They did comp us the drinks, at least, and the food was good, but it was a bit painful. Nevermind - more time for catching up. 

I also made it to hot yoga and we tried a new location for knitting group, which was indeed pretty dark. The hunt for a central, accessible cafe with gluten free and vegan options that has enough space and light for us continues (spoiler: it doesn't exist). 

I finished knitting the blue jumper I've been working on for a couple of months, only to realise that it is very similar to another jumper I have already knitted - but without the big lightning bolt, so probably a bit easier to wear. I might make a post about it when it's dried from its blocking and I can photograph it.

No reading, but I started a new audiobook on the drive home from Kent, How the South Won the Civil War, which seems like it will be very interesting. I finally finished watching Euphoria, they really have ensured that's not coming back though I feel there might be a Fay/Wayne spin off hinted at. Mr Z and I have been watching Legends which is really very good, we're a bit sad it is only six episodes and one season but presumably that's how it's going to stay very good. 

Throwaway Thursday: cassette cases

An occasional series that I might also title, 'Things in my house that are basically rubbish but I am a borderline hoarder and cannot bring myself to throw them out'. The idea is to memorialise such things here and then bin them for good.

In case you hadn't guessed, I've been doing some clearing out over the summer. My main aim in life is to get to a situation where everything I own and use can be stored away in a sensible and accessible location. Thus, I decided that keeping things I use when travelling (rubber ring, mosquito plug in, sun hat, adapter plugs) in a box under the spare room bed was not supportive of this goal and I decided to clear out/consolidate the boxes in the office, to make room for this stuff. 

As part of this, I found a new home for my old cassette tapes. These lived in my school shoe bag and, in the last round of clearing out, I could not part with them. Before I opened the bag, I reorganised the box of DVDs that I brought home 10 years ago, when I left my last place of employment, and got rid of about a dozen DVDs so I'd have room for the cassettes.

I know, it just doesn't have to make sense though, OK?

Space cleared, I opened the bag. Ah, the cassette mix I bought in Tenerife in 1996! My Now double edition tapes! And...oh wait, this seems to be a tape recording of my Uncle and Aunt's wedding from before I was born, they got divorced at least 20 years ago, I probably don't need that. Oh but my mix tapes!...but wait...there are no tapes in these cases.

No. Tapes. In. These. Cases.

OK, now this is where it not making sense actually is a problem. Why did I choose to keep these? 

Short answer: I no longer have. They're easily recycled as they are all plastic. I took pictures of the carefully-recorded track listing in each one and can make myself playlists so I can relive the Walkman days. Well, some of them anyway. Having dived deep down a hole on YouTube, I can confirm there's a very good reason why I don't remember some of these songs.

Throwaway Thursday: electric toothbrushes

An occasional series that I might also title, 'Things in my house that are basically rubbish but I am a borderline hoarder and cannot bring myself to throw them out'. The idea is to memorialise such things here and then bin them for good.

A complicated feeling, this one. Mother Hand bought me these toothbrushes for Christmas and it was not very long ago. I asked for one; she picked up a two-pack by accident, which undoubtedly cost her a lot more money, as Mr Z pointed out a day or two later. I used them both: one while the other charged. 

At some point, though, I got seduced by an online advert for Suri. I was excited about the prospect of travelling with no additional chargers and being able to send brush heads back for recycling, so I bought one, intending to just use it for a travel toothbrush. But then I liked it, a lot, so I stopped using the old ones. They have sat on the bathroom windowsill now for a year. 

So - a complicated thing to throw away. Firstly, I have daughter guilt about throwing away something Mother Hand spent a fair amount of money on. Secondly, they're not dead yet, though the rubberised handles have no gone sticky with disuse. Thirdly, they are small electricals and, although I will put them out for recycling, I'm not 100% convinced the small electricals I send with the kerb collection actually get recycled. 

This is why I have so much stuff in my house, isn't it? I will tell myself (1) a present, once given, has done its job and what happens to it next is nothing to do with the original; and (2) and (3) one day, they will need to be binned. Nobody is going to be horrified at not being offered the opportunity to use my second hand electric toothbrush. Waiting longer won't make them more recyclable. 

They can go in the green box for the next collection. I absolve myself of any guilty feelings.