Bikram milestone

I made it to class number 100 today!

I nearly didn't go. My usual instructor was not teaching and it was a new-to-me person. I decided I didn't want class number 100 to be with a new person; but then I said it out loud and realised how stupid and unyoga it sounded, so I duly went. I forgot my contact lenses and it was a crowded class, so I ended up on the front row, for the first time. PRESSURE. And I have been feeling very giddy now and again for the past day or two, which came back in spades during any and all the backbends, but luckily I didn't fall over on anybody. Or at all.

The instructor had some kind of problem half way through and had to leave briefly; for a minute I thought the class was going to be cut short, which would have been ironic as I'd have got to 99 and a half, and who knows how that would have sat with my slightly obsessive brain.

I had to ask for permission to go on the front row (not officially, but for my own comfort) because there is still a lot I can't do. I think I will list here because, assuming I carry on going, this will be nice to look back on in the future. You may prefer to stop reading now.

• I can't catch my foot in standing head to knee, or standing bow
• I can't catch both feet in bow
• I can't reach my feet in camel, or rabbit...basically I don't know how I even cut my toenails sometimes
• I can't get my hands to meet over my knees in wind removing pose
• I can't get my leg in the right place in tree
• I can't get my arms in the right place for locust, let alone do the legs
• I can't get a full wrap in eagle, or get my hands looking vaguely right
• I can't really manage all the bits of awkward because it makes my feet hurt too much
• My bum still does not touch my feet when kneeling
• My hips still don't reach the floor
• I still need to stick one leg out in the twist at the end
• My head has not touched my knee for at least a year, in any pose

That's quite a list. But there are lots of things that have improved and some of them are quite subtle. I remember when I started and I couldn't do the simplest of things. Standing with my feet together was uncomfortable. It was basically impossible to breathe in through my nose for a count of six (I used to fake it). I couldn't kneel for any length of time. These are all things I have conquered, along with the heat and the necessity of showering naked in front of a changing roomful of women.

My particular successes are in anything involving long hamstrings or backbends - I seem to be able to do those OK. I was astonished to find, being on the front row, that I was backbending further than most of the other people in my eyeline. I could almost see the floor. Pleasing. I also think I'm quite good at triangle, now I understand how to do it, and balancing stick.

I like to practise it. I think my standing knee is a bit bent here and I need to lift my other leg from the glute, but it's all good practice. 

The Bikram Diaries: 10

It has been nearly a year since my last post, which was nearly a year since the one before. I haven't given up, though I have become something of a sporadic visitor. Recently, however, I've been a bit more regularly so I thought I should check in.

I'm now up to class 93. I was pondering in class tonight, what special thing might happen in class number 100, like I will be able to magically get my bum on the floor between my heels or something; then I realised that was very unyoga and I should be thinking about what I can do new in class 93, so I made a huge effort and managed to grab my left foot from the inside during standing bow. I think this might be the first time that has ever happened. I have read back through all my bikram posts and see I managed it once on the right, but that was when I was going more often and I was two years younger. Sigh. I can no longer get my head on my knee and the days of being able to grab both feet are far behind me. But I guess I will get there if I keep going back.

So, hurrah for foot grabbing. I must make an effort to get there twice a week. I managed to go twice while I was staying at Father Hand's. In the first class I went to, the instructor was English. It was surreal and made more so by the fact he was wearing a headset and kept wandering out of the room, but his voice never got any quieter. The second class, the instructor was the same one I had two years ago. He remembered my name, amazingly. He kept turning the fans on, but I was prepared.

There was a terrible moment after class when I chugged half a bottle of water I'd filled from the fountain, only for one of my classmates to say that she'd had to dump hers out because it was blue and tasted bad. They were working on the water pipes. I got into the shower and then had to get out again because I thought I was going to be sick. It passed; I showered; I turned off the water; I projectile vomited, without warning. Thank goodness I was still in the shower, except urgh. I had to do a good clean of the floor with their nice shower gel. But that could have been the rental car. I tipped the rest of my water away and noticed it was indeed faintly blue. I don't want to know what it might have been. I don't seem to have suffered any ill effects.

Exciting times, getting poisoned at the bikram studio.

I also managed to get Sibling to go by visiting his local studio with him, where my familiar Bristol instructor teaches on a Friday night. He enjoyed it more than he thought and he was quite good. He has even been back without me.

New target: get to 100 classes by the end of the year.

The Bikram Diaries: 9

You might be forgiven for thinking I'd jacked in the sweaty yoga, since I haven't blogged about it since last December. Well, we're all on a journey, aren't we? My journey has not involved masses of visits to the bikram studio this year, but there have still been some. Nineteen, to be precise, so I will aim to get to 25 by year's end. I am managing once a week now that I have figured out Monday is always a better day to go than Tuesday, on account of Tuesday being a lighter work day every week. I did go on Tuesday this week, though. Managing my workload slightly better this week.

As I commented to the very keen lady who recently completed a 30 day challenge tonight, the only problem with only coming once a week is that progress seems to be non-existent. I grope for my foot in standing head to knee and standing bow, and it never feels like it is getting any closer. I lean back in camel, but my back bend is no deeper. I tilt my pelvis and think fondly of gravity, trying to lower my bum actually onto my heels, in half tortoise, but there is still at least a finger's width of air between them.

I had a very busy day today (my Fitbit congratulated me on reaching my best-ever score of 50 floors climbed today, which explains why I am so tired) and as soon as I got into class my mind just exploded, like I had been ignoring it all day. So I wasn't fully in there. But having said that, a little progress tonight: I did manage to catch my left foot very briefly in standing bow, but only briefly, and then I hurt my shoulder and had to be a bit careful for the rest of class.

Laura came over to help me with the lying down bow pose too, and even though she retreated the first time (probably in horror at the enormous crack my hip made as she attempted to lift my foot for me), when she came back in the savasana and tried again, I was successful. It was a joyful moment that has not occurred for going on 18 months and I wanted to remain in that pose for the rest of class.

I also have to take my wins elsewhere. I can now get through an entire class without drinking and without wiping my face. Small steps. My self-control is improving, even if my muscles are not.

Another little positive: I have lost 10lbs since starting the new job, purely through the additional walking (it must be, because I still eat too much cake). I only know this because the number on the scale has changed: I don't notice the difference in the mirror. But I did tonight, as I gurned through another set of Awkward pose, posed like a duck and sucking in my stomach. It looked flabby and hideous, as usual, but there was a ghost of something underneath it all that I hadn't seen in a while.

So yes, bikram. Still happening. Still hard. Still magic afterwards. Even better in this freezing weather.

The Bikram Diaries: 8

Now that I have passed my 50th class, I thought I might compile some sort of advice to new bikramites. Mostly I compiled this during class, thus proving that it doesn't always quiet the mind.

Firstly, here is my post about how much I hated it to start with.

The heat:

Your job in the first class is just to stay in the room. Even if you have to lie on the mat for the last 85 minutes, just stay in there. You will need to get used to the heat if you want to continue.

It really does get easier after the 5th-ish class, and that tolerance does not seem to fade.

Resist the urge to wipe the sweat. I keep a flannel with me to get it if it goes into my eyes or ears, but that's it. Let the sweat do its job. If you wipe it, your body will produce more and you'll be hotter in the meantime.

Wear as little as possible. I don't think anybody is looking at anybody else's body. That's what I tell myself, anyway.

Breathe through your nose. It will help.

Some poses will be hard because your wet hand will slither limply across your clammy skin. It's OK. Your grip will improve.

Resist the urge to chug water. Over time I have managed to drink less and less water in class: I'm down to about 250ml now: a swallow after the warm up postures and then whenever my mouth starts to taste gross. This is because I drink masses for 24 hours before the class and I guzzle at least a litre immediately afterwards. I can recommend this: it was too easy to get into the habit of always drinking at certain points in the class, which is why I deliberately stopped. I don't need the water in class: it's just a distraction.

The postures:

There are pretty much two chances at each posture (except the last one, and sort of tree, though you can choose to do a second tree). You can always just watch for the first repeat.

Obviously it's going to be hard, but if you're grunting or having to heavy mouth breathe a lot, you're probably working too hard. Know your limits.

Watch the experienced (at the front of the class, probably) for tips. I like to look at other people's triangles: I think it's really easy to pick up bad form on this one.

Some you'll manage, some you won't. The attitude of pretty much everyone I have come across at bikram to this is - meh.

Don't clock watch. There's no point. The series will take 90 minutes. If I'm struggling in a class, I count down the sit ups - after the four face-down postures, there are 12.

If you need to sit out a repeat, sit, kneel or lie on your back. I have heard that child's pose is not a good way to rest in a hot room.

At the end, resist the urge to get up and run. I still love the moment when I get the first waft of cool air from somebody exiting the door so it's not too hard to stay in there, especially since the heat is off. I've started doing a slow count of the number of classes I have attended and then leaving. Very restful.

Good luck! It's definitely not for everybody, but I think it's worth persevering with. I come out of every class feeling like Sally the champion of the world.

The Bikram Diaries: 7

I have only been a sporadic attender of bikram since September. I managed around a dozen classes in September and October, but have only been a few times since then - twice, actually. Poor show. However, I am hoping to manage to attend a class every day this week...as is the rest of Bristol, if today was anything to go by. The studio was rammed.

Naturally I am not as competent at the postures as I was a few months ago, in the main; but I was gratified to discover that I still have a good tolerance for the heat, so obviously that doesn't just disappear. Not counting the first attempt in 2010 and the disastrous Christmas Eve class of 2013 (taught by an instructor who was in my class today, I believe), today marked class number 50. Not bad, considering I have only been going since the end of February. Clearly my body is quite acclimated now.

I have tried a couple of other bikram studios. Firstly, I went to Sohot Yoga near the BT tower. It's in a basement. The floor was made of some kind of scrunchy plastic stuff - very soft and comfortable but it definitely retained a lot of the heat from the room. Normally I take a little pleasure from getting the chill out of the floor.
It was a candlelit class, which meant bunny fairy lights. I liked being in the dark: I don't regularly use the mirrors anyway so it didn't matter much to me. Unfortunately there was a very loud man next to me, grunting and moaning and the like. I found him so distracting that I took to breathing out with a loud "Sssshhhhh!" sound, though it didn't make any difference. I wonder if he knew he was doing it.

The other one I tried was the Hot Spot, in Parson's Green, near where Sib lives. This was also a candlelit class. The studio is on the ground floor with a big frosted window at the back - must be lovely in the day time. I was in a mess that day: Sib and I had split nearly two bottles of wine at dinner the night before; I'd had a disturbed might's sleep due to incredibly painful muscles from my workout two days earlier (like, I bent my leg and the pain woke me up); I'd presented a terrifying course that day and thus already sweated myself dry once. So, I took the spot near the door in case I had to leave.
Well. Firstly, there was a huge gap at the bottom of the door which was not blocked with a yoga mat, so I was in a draft. Secondly, the instructor opened the door a LOT. I was kind of pleased about this because I was feeling pretty awful, but it made it even more difficult to practise. If I'd been in the zone I would have been annoyed. it's a good tip for next time though - I won't go anywhere near the door.
Then, there was a newbie - on her second class - right in the front row, all crooked. I did not like that. Bad bikramite at the back is judging you. And somebody got up to leave in the first posture and didn't come back! First time that's ever happened. I did really like the instructor though. She wandered among people and gave them one-to-one tips. At one point she got all embarrassed - I think she'd gotten carried away assisting in tree pose and realised she was holding the man's bum cheeks in both hands. Very funny.

Vive la difference. It's nice to try new studios. The fact that the dialogue and postures are always exactly the same are incredibly comforting to me, but it is nice to see how other people practice once in a while.

The Bikram Diaries: 6

Obvs I haven't done a lot of bikram in the last couple of months, as I think I mentioned in my last post. I am going to go again later, assuming either the shopping or Mr Z arrives before 4.30 this afternoon. There's no sense in putting it off and I have back pain which will be soothed and improved by the yoga. And also by the ensuing weight loss, I reckon. Holidays have not been good for the old waistline.

I did make it to a yoga class on holiday, though. I went to the delightful Bikram Las Vegas studio which happens to be just a short drive from Father Hand's house (short, as long as you don't miss your turning). I went there the day after we flew in in an attempt to deal with my jet lag.

The studio is really lovely - bright and airy, thanks to one wall being windows looking out into the car park (with that film on them to stop people seeing in, natch). Tonnes of mirrors. The most amazing, enormous showers with shampoo AND conditioner. Friendly, helpful staff who let me take the class and pay afterwards because I was late, thanks to all the driving around. A lovely selection of yoga wear. A very friendly instructor who I think was a bit nervous in a silent room of only 6 students, because he kept trying to make us laugh.

The class did not go well, though. I mean, I knew it wouldn't what with all the flying and everything, but it was a really bad one. I sat out a lot of second postures. It is probably the closest I have ever been to throwing up in a class. I don't think it helped that the instructor periodically turned on the fans and even the air conditioning, which cooled the room down considerably - it was shortly after each of these cool bursts that the nausea overtook me. I was quite surprised because he told me at the start that the studio had a reputation for being particularly hot. Well, Bristol apparently has that reputation too (according to one of their travelling instructors) and I know which one is hotter.

I also found it a bit odd that, when we did what I refer to as the sideways poses (including triangle), instead of having us turn on our mats to face the mirrors at the end, or having us turn our mats around (there was plenty of room), we just did the poses facing the front, feet either side of the mat. Fine, ok, but the floor was carpeted and my feet had no grip. Not pleasant. No rug burns or anything, just no grip.

I decided that the next day I would risk the wrath and turn my mat. I made it back to the 7.30am class the next morning (thank you, jet lag) but, disappointingly, no instructor turned up so the dozen or so of us that crawled out of bed for the pleasure were left kicking our heels in the car park. Sadface. I emailed to query it but received no response. This kind of let them down a bit; I was sorry not to practise in that great space for a second time. Nevermind: there will definitely be a next time.

Throwback Thursday

I was reminded of this picture because I went back to bikram tonight after nearly 6 weeks off.

Mr Z took this when we were on holiday at Lake Tahoe last month (so I'm not throwing back very far). Every time I was in water this summer I took the opportunity to work on this pose, since the water did some balancing for me and allowed me to easily grab my ankle from the inside. At this point I was balancing on a rock to keep my chin above water. It was extremely cold but I persevered for quite some time: the activity made me warmer.

You'd think, with all the practising, that I would have got on alright this evening, but you would not be correct. At least I went back.

The Bikram Diaries: 5

It has been difficult to get to bikram as regularly lately, what with all the marking and such. However, I've tried to squeeze in at least one class a week and, oddly, I think I am making more progress than when I was managing several a week.

Today was class 31 and it was a momentous day because I managed to finally grab both feet at the same time in bow pose. It only took 31 tries, haha. Laura the instructor came over to try to help me, but then in the end I managed on my own. And I managed a good standing bow pose holding my left leg. Laura said it was gorgeous. I think she was carried away in the euphoria of my bow pose success.

The increased flexibility is making life a bit easier in small and interesting ways. I can sit comfortably cross-legged again now: I haven't been able to do that for years. I had to miss about 10 days due to all the exam board meetings and when I went back to class on Sunday morning, we got to the triangle pose, which many of the instructors refer to as the peak of the standing series, and as I sank my hips down into it I felt very calm and the stretch felt amazing. I was marvelling at how I had progressed from the start when I despised it and how good it felt to stretch my hips after having three day-long meetings in four days. Then I realised everybody else had finished and moved onto the other side. Doh. I had completely zoned out: that would never have happened at the start.

I haven't used my yoga app again yet but, well. Small steps and that.

The Bikram Diaries: 4

I haven't been blogging about it, but I have still been going. I am up to class 26ish now. My latest attempt was on Thursday, when I managed to turn myself out of bed at 5.50am to get to the 6.45am class. Me in my 20s would be equally awestruck and disgusted that me in my 30s is capable/desirous of this. It was a bit of a mess, because I troughed a banana on the way to class and guzzled a bunch of water to make up for the lack of drinking on Wednesday, so I felt quite sick at various points in the class. When the instructor tried to give me some suggestions on how to sit to feel better I got all sulky. She was very understanding, though - she said that she's never participated in such an early class. Apparently they are very good for improving practice but not very enjoyable.

In general, actually, the last few have been harder. The heat's not really a problem anymore, but I have felt, in some ways, less flexible. I think it's probably partly to do with feeling tense about exam season and all the additional jobs I've been doing, and partly to do with being off work and being generally less active, and drinking less. It is interesting trying to pinpoint the tiny changes in lifestyle that might be having and impact.

I have seen some improvements in my practice, though. For a start, I can now get myself into standing bow pose with much less faffing than previously. It is getting easier and easier to get my face onto my knee in all poses that require that. When I am kneeling down, my bum actually touches my heels now. I still can't kneel down and sit on the floor between my heels; but Thursday's instructor mentioned to the class that it took her four and a half years to be able to do that so I won't be too hopeful about that happening any time soon.

I've started looking at yoga types on Instagram for tips on the poses and inspiration to carry on. There are some flexible people out there. As a result, I have downloaded a daily yoga app; on Wednesday I did a little morning yoga in the garden. Norris (the tortoise) was very interested and came up onto the lawn to watch. Or maybe he just wanted food.

I'm also attending a two hour astanga yoga workshop today. It mentions inversions, which I find concerning. There's no way I am attempting to balance on my head.

The Bikram Diaries: 3

I managed to achieve my goals of last week, and felt very, very proud of myself when my forehead touched my knee in the Tuesday class. I can also reach both feet in front of me in standing-head-to-knee, although I can't extend my leg properly.

Then I had about a week off. I went back on Wednesday, and I was not hopeful for a good class. I was absolutely exhausted thanks to two very late nights in a row, and I hadn't eaten properly, but I was having a maniacal work week and had to do some exercise to try and reset myself. However, it was a surprise to me when I looked up to see the instructor leaning down, whispering, "Are you OK?" because I had FALLEN. ASLEEP. And worse? I had my back to him, so I can only think that he knew to come over because I snored.

I know it's not unusual to fall asleep in yoga, particularly when the meditation bit happens, but it is very hot in there and it's not at all restful. I don't ever feel sleepy, not even in the corpse pose at the end (which is when I normally fall asleep in other classes). It was a bit wake up call. As was the fact that I had to wuss out of at least half the class. I was very apologetic at the end but the instructor was really nice and told me to give myself more credit and at least I showed up. Yeah. I bet they teach them to say things like that on the instructor course.

Today was a triumph, however. On my way out, the instructor told me I had the best cobra pose in the class! Left feeling great. And, I managed to grab my right foot in the correct manner for standing bow pose, instead of having to shuffle my hand around; and I actually touched my left foot whilst holding my right foot in lying bow pose. And also I realised that the bow in the pose refers to the type you use with an arrow, and not the thing you tie with a ribbon. All this time I have been wondering how that posture could look like a ribbon bow. Um, dur.

They're not all so motivating, the instructors. After last Tuesday's class, I saw the instructor in the changing room and she said she could see I had made progress. "Yes," I replied, "and it is really motivating to see progress every class." "Ah," she replied, "but after a while you will plateau and you'll find you won't make any progress for a long time, and it's important you keep coming then." Wow. I shall consider my parade officially rained on, thank you.

The Bikram Diaries: 2

Good news! I achieved all my goals for this week. I went to Bikram three times, swam, did aquafit, saw my PT and played squash with Tutt. And today I have had more motivation and energy to Get Things Done than I can remember having in a number of months. It would be crazy to think these two things are not connected.

My particular success of the week was Thursday's class. I only had to sit out a couple of repeats of postures, and I felt amazing when I was done. I managed my best ever standing bow pose on the left side. It helped to sit out the first go on the right side, then do left and right in succession. The instructor tried to help me grab both feet in lying-on-the-floor bow pose (to give it its official name) which was hilarious: I did get to the point where my right hand was touching my right toe, but at that point my left hand wetly slithered off my left foot, so it was all for naught.

Afterwards he recommended I drink more juices. He very enthusiastically tried to explain the benefits of drinking in class which seemed to involve replacing lost nutrients sweated out of the body while the body is at its most amenable to replacements. Hmm. I don't really believe this, but they are tasty, so I went and got a juice from the juice bar after Saturday's class, and it was so nice that I bought some veg and made use of the juicer I bought Mr Z for Christmas. It was beetroot, apple, carrot and watercress - I put in two of each plus a bag of watercress, and it made far too much juice. Mr Z and I had about a pint each and it has had that unfortunate beetroot effect of transferring dye all the way through my digestive system and out the other side. Never fails to make me momentarily panic, does beetroot.

Saturday morning's class was less successful, since I went on an empty stomach, but since I wasn't planning to go and was actually quite surprised to find myself lying on the mat, I still chalk it up as a big win. It felt very hot: at one point the instructor opened the door wide during a posture and I nearly got up and hugged her. A couple of people had to be excused during the class. I couldn't even grab my left foot to do bow pose, which was slightly demoralising after Thursday, but I'm not holding it against myself. I've been strength training now for nearly five years so it is not overly surprising that I'm not very bendy.

This is definitely becoming a habit and I am a bit glum at not being able to wedge many classes in this week. I think it could easily be quite addictive, because it's such a massive sense of achievement every time.

This week's goals:
Attendance: Tuesday, Thursday
Postures: Get my head to touch my knee, at some point, in some posture. That's quite a big ask. I'll give it a go. 
Other exercise: Swimming x 2 (including today), PT session, walking endlessly around Wonderwool with an elevated heart rate from looking at all the gorgeous yarn.

The Bikram Diaries: 1

I decided I would chart my progress at Bikram here. I fear this chart may end up being one post long, as I move into silly season at work, but the intent is there, in any case.

I have now completed 10 Bikram classes. It's been interesting to see my progress. I said to the instructor at the end of class number 10 that I felt I'd only been able to do a quarter of the class to begin with, but now felt I could do about half. I might be being a little generous, but there is certainly a lot less kneeling down, particularly when I have remembered to drink well for 24 hours in advance. That makes an enormous difference.

The heat is still oppressive but weird things happen now. At certain points in the class, particularly in the floor poses, I actually feel a bit cooler. It's almost like the sweat is doing its job! Also, I am no longer constantly fighting the urge to run screaming from the room and stick my head under the cold tap. Not gonna lie though - that moment at the end of class when someone opens the door and a breath of cool air floats over me is still the best bit of the class (this is like when I say taking my ski boots off at the end of the day is the best bit of skiing).

As for the postures, well. My aim is to attempt each posture at least once on each side, and to not just stop practice when my heart rate goes up, unless I am really labouring for breath. Some of the postures are just too difficult, while I find others a lot easier. But I think that is probably the same for everyone.

An interesting thing happened today. I went swimming, and at the end, I decided I would try and do a couple of the postures I find most challenging in the shallow end, to see if it was a bit easier. I have a theory that my excessive bulk physically blocks me from getting into certain positions and I wanted to prove to myself that this wasn't just an excuse. Unfortunately, it would appear that it is just that.

Take the standing head to knee pose, for example. I can stand on one leg, holding the other foot with both hands with my leg straight out. BUT, I can't grab my foot by bending my knee, which is the posture set up, so I end up standing, like a gently sweating lemon, bent over and reaching. This is immensely frustrating. Yet, in the pool, I can grab my foot. Likewise, I can grab my ankle from the inside to do the standing bow pose. Presumably this works because I am not afraid of falling over. It was quite motivating to find that these things are not beyond my reach.

This week's goals:
Attendance: Monday, Thursday, Saturday
Postures: Standing bow pose once on each side. Grab my heels in camel - I managed this when I was practising yesterday
Other exercise: Swimming x 2 (including today), PT session, maybe school gym induction