Spring 2 Goals

 

It's been a bit trickier to come up with good things to go on my termly goals list since Christmas. I find I am filling it with things I am going to do, rather than things I want to achieve: it is therefore easy enough to complete most of the things on it. Trying to think about what might make good goals for the next term, a brief affair of only five weeks. 

Anyway. 

What didn't I do? I didn't get to the gym much. I did make it every Sunday I was at home, but no Mondays (except that one week when I got all the way into the changing room and realised I hadn't packed a top). It is definitely harder to motivate myself now that skiing is done. Perhaps I need a new fitness goal. 

I didn't finish an audiobook, either. My brain is just a bit full at the moment, I can't cope with much more than the same 20ish songs cycling round. I am listening to two that I'm really enjoying, but enjoyment is not enough to keep me concentrating. 

I did manage to finish a novel though (House of Odysseus). I made the sauna a regular treat, it is so lovely in the spring sunshine and there are a whole load of narcissus around the little pond they've made. I went to hot yoga twice, on Fridays: a super way to end the week. I bought myself a 10-class card so I really need to make this a more regular part of my routine...somehow. 

I went to blood donors after I'd had to cancel my previous appointment due to a cold. I was greeted at the front desk by an ex-student, so thank goodness I hadn't ticked 'yes' to any of the questionnaire questions, that could have been super awkward. I flew to Edinburgh for Steps, I took sequins even if I did not wear them - I did manage glitter eyeliner, and there were plenty of sequins in the production so I count that as a yes. I had a manicure for Mallorca and did my own pedicure; the owner of my local beauty shop has just lost her husband so the remaining staff are flat out and I felt guilty enough commandeering a long evening slot for the nails. 

Most proud achievement was doing the Friday night reset each week. I do all the washing up, clean up the kitchen and put all the week's clothes away. Mr Z seems to have cottoned on to this and there seems to be less to do in the kitchen in more recent weeks, so I have taken to trying to tidy/clean/dust something else in that time instead. I am still pining desperately for a cleaner (one of Mr Z's few red lines) but this is helping a little to make me feel happier about the state of Chez Z. 

2026 Week 16

And what a week it has been! I went to Iceland on a school trip, that most glorious type of trip: one that I was not in charge of. I spent my time 'bringing up the rear' which was my official job role every day. We went to waterfalls, beaches, extinct volcanoes, lakes, hot springs and a glacier. I made a snow angel, walked behind a waterfall, chased rainbows, inspected (and bought) yarn, admired jumpers, marvelled at geological features and took dozens of selfies. 

I even managed some hobbies. I finished the purple jumper I'd been knitting for this trip, so I did get a day's worth of wear out of it. It needs blocking as it is a little short on me: I added 5 extra rows but didn't want to run out of yarn, which seems to have been the correct choice. 

I started reading The Last Song of Penelope, the third in the trilogy from Claire North. I wouldn't normally read a follow up novel so quickly after the first, I tend to absorb too much of the writer's voice and it makes it come out in my own writing or speech, like a mimic, but I couldn't resist. The House of Odysseus has stayed with me, there was some cracking writing in that, but this one has got me right in the feels several times so far. I'm about halfway through. I carried on a little with the two audiobooks but this really needs to be a school commute thing, I think, and at the moment I am obsessively listening to Tame Impala's Dracula and a few other recent musics so I don't want to put an audiobook on.

Mr Z and I have been watching the first season of The Pitt. Nice to see Noah Wyle back as a doctor and it's different enough that I don't get Carter vibes. I see Euphoria is back for its third season; I am in two minds whether to watch it. I keep seeing people arguing online that it is shocking because 'that's what addiction looks like' but I'm not sure addiction looks as glamorous as it's made out to be. I think addiction looks more like groping in a toilet bowl, a la Trainspotting. But then, I guess I wouldn't know.

I forgot to say last weekend that I binged the whole of The Other Bennet Sister in the days in between trips. Very, very enjoyable. I loved the nods to the BBC's P&P - trying to blow out the candle in front of the mirror, having Hill played by Lucy Briers, who was Mary in the 1995 adaptation. Also the quite modern additions, like the terrible bird drawings, the stretching. I was so impressed that Mary's marital fate kept me guessing right up until the final reveal. Really artfully done. 

A couple of Iceland pictures to finish up:

I wore only dresses for the entire trip (with ski bibs over the top for the waterfall) because that is the sort of energy I bring these days. If Wordsworth's sister could climb Scafell Peak in a dress, I can definitely stroll down a path to a waterfall and climb up a volcano. 

Throwaway Thursday - wedding moisturiser

An occasional series that I might also title, 'Things in my house that are basically rubbish but I am a borderline hoarder and cannot bring myself to throw them out'. The idea is to memorialise such things here and then bin them for good. 

Look how foul this is. 

Witness: the thick layer of dust over the whole top of the bottle; the lid that seems to have split in a place other than where it should open; the apparently solid layer of moisturiser on top of the remaining cm on product. This slipped out from behind some other bottles on my bathroom storage last week and is now headed to the recycling. 

Where did this come from and why has it lasted so long?

When I got married, back in 2006, I was deep into the Lush forum life and doing mystery swaps for cosmetics in this country and the US. I believe this Bath and Body Works Peach Melba moisturiser arrived in one such swap; there is a chance that I bought it myself but it wouldn't necessarily be my first choice of scent, though I do love it. My first experience with B&BW was in 1998 when I went for Camp America, coming home with a thick body moisturiser in the scent Country Apple. I don't think I would have bought myself a lotion like this. 

This scent is quite heavily associated with my honeymoon. I've got a fair few things knocking around from that era that should be gone, really, but remain because of the scent association. On my wedding day, I had a long bath with a Lush Bottle of Bubbly, and washed and moisturised with B&BW Mango Sorbetto. I wore Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs Stardust perfume, both for the name (inextricably linked to the beginning of my relationship with Mr Z) and the fact it has white musk in it, of which Mr Z is a fan (tell me you grew up in the 80s without telling me). On honeymoon, I brought a Lush buttercream that smelled of roses and geranium (I think it was originally called Amandopondo) and this moisturiser. 

It all sounds quite overwhelming; hopefully it wasn't too much so for the people around me. I chose things very carefully, that I hadn't used much before, because I knew the scent memories would bring me back to that day. And they do. One sniff of this and I'm back in Lake Garda.

That's why it's not yet in the recycling. Honestly, it is so gross, but it does still smell of my honeymoon. How does one hold on to a scent? 

Also kind of miss the mystery swaps. I'd add them to my 'golden age of the internet' list. 

2026 Week 15

Welp, it's been the last week of term and the first week of the Easter break since I last managed to get a post up, so a fair amount of stuff has gone on. 

I limped through the end of term, much marking, some scheming, general end of term vibe where you are proverbially shaking the printer cartridge to eke out the very last sprinkling of toner. On Thursday night, I flew to Mallorca, where I repaired to a little hotel near the airport for the night, before collecting my rental car and heading on to the family villa on Friday morning. Our first family holiday since the IoW caravan in 1992. 

Mallorca was nice. Beaches, lunches, rock-pooling, a chef we hired to come one night and then invited back another night to do Argentinian barbecue, a heated pool with the kids, crafting, lots of cats. The odd squabble, obviously. I don't envy Sib his marriage. It was a lot of fun to spend the time with the niblings, though. I very much appreciate that feeling of being owned by a child, in the way that they climb on you and sit on your lap and press their face against yours and it's all just so normal. Very fun.

I returned from Mallorca on Monday evening, had one day at home and then headed to Sheffield for a geography conference, where I was speaking alongside the Head of Geog from school. We've done a little cross-curricular project together so that I could convince her to go to the conference and speak, she is very good but doesn't really appreciate how good she is. One of the exam board guys was there that I usually see every year at my own subject equivalent conference, so we had a good catch up and went to a very interesting session together; I was interested to note that (1) this conference seemed a lot more activist than my subject equivalent and (b) a lot of the issues are ones that might easily be solved if subject teams talked to each other a little more. I chose to stay in a lovely spa hotel I've stayed in before, so I got a couple of sessions in in the steam room and a swim or two. I ate exceptionally delicious Korean fried chicken two nights in a row. It was quite restorative. 

Though, I do feel the press of the dissertation at my back. I don't think I'm going to be able to get the first draft done for July in the way I want to. I am setting a challenge for myself to work on it for an hour every day over the next term, but, given that it's currently 'dissertation accountability hour' and I'm writing this instead, I am not sure if the self-discipline necessary to achieve that is going to present itself. We'll see. 

Some hobbies happened, as a result of the leisure. I finished Claire North's House of Odysseus, listened to a bit more of The Anxious Generation and started a new audiobook, The Human Planet, which is very engaging. I'm also ploughing through a bit more of Is A River Alive? so my brain is crammed full of lots of other people's words at the moment. 

I went to see Underland at the Watershed on Tuesday night: Underland might be my favourite book ever (definitely top 5) but I'd heard the film was more of a spin-off, so wasn't quite sure what to expect. It was indeed very different, focusing on three people who work underground, in Mexico, America and Canada. I was totally unprepared for the first scenes to be in Vegas. I still find scenes from Vegas make me a little sad, since Father Hand passed away. But it was a very good documentary, very moving in unexpected ways. It seemed that each person was dealing with a different temporality - Mexico past, searching for Mayan remains; Vegas present, looking at the way people live in the storm drains and what they leave behind; Canada future, working in a deep mine, looking for dark matter. It was very well put together. 

Anything else? Hmm. I am onto the sleeves of my latest knit; I hoped to finish it for Iceland but, since Iceland is now under 24 hours away, that seems ambitious. I'm off there at 6.30 tomorrow morning for a school trip. It is a holiday of trips and extremes of temperature: I managed to get a reasonable tan in Mallorca, where the temperature hovered around 20 degrees, but I fear that might all be sloughed away by the windy and wet conditions predicted at my next destination. It will be worth it, though. So excited to get eyes on Iceland again. 

2026 Week 13

If I had to sum up this week with a gesture, it would be a gentle shrug and sideways look. It's definitely close to the end of term - lots of the country broke up on Friday for Easter, but we have another week - and I have been somewhat in retreat, possibly because of my weekend of intense nerding, which did not set me up for a well-rested and active week. Plus it was my busy work week. I really do not like this timetable week. Only (I think) two more of them and then the exam classes will drop off. 

I continued to read the House of Odysseus, a bit; listen to The Anxious Generation, a bit; knit the purple jumper, a bit. I saw a coursemate from Oxford who has just moved into a flat up the road from school, was interviewed by another coursemate for her research, and had a meeting with my supervisor, so it felt like quite an Oxfordy week. A pity there was not more Oxfordy work, I really need to get into some discipline on that and very soon. 

I went to the trendy glasses shops on Park Street, intending to get some huge and chunky new frames, but in the end I left without ordering; I don't wear my glasses much these days, having eased myself back into contact lenses that I use with reading glasses at work. I probably need to dip my toe into the world of varifocals but it seems like a lot of hassle. I keep thinking I should look at laser eye surgery...as if that would be less hassle. 

Some nice things: I finished the course with my A-level students, this is the earliest I have ever managed it. The older and slightly simple gentleman who I often see sitting at the bus stop near school, but have not seen for many months, was back in situ on Friday when I nipped out for my Friday coffee treat and we had a little catch up. All my royalties arrived for the second half of the financial year. I had a bit of a wardrobe clear out so almost everything fits in the wardrobe now. I made packing lists for April - I'm going on four trips, all to very different locations and for very different purposes, so it is wise to be well-planned in advance. 

Roll on the first of those trips, starting this Thursday night. Woo. 

2026 Week 12

It was only a four-day work week this week; we had Friday as a twilight inset day in respect of Eid, so I went to Oxford on Thursday night to wrestle with the dissertation. This was a very wise decision and I managed to make a great deal of progress, not necessarily on the writing but certainly on the planning, reading, getting to grips with qualitative research and generally beginning to feel like this is going to be achievable. I got up early enough on both days to get my very favourite Rad Cam seat, which is in a very sunny morning spot, keeping me warm and cheerful. I had intended to study in the education library on Saturday but then discovered it was closed; so I visited there later on Friday afternoon to beg a renewal of a book and view the famous magnolia that was the inspiration for the department logo. 

I bumped into a friend form the history teaching world while I was there, always a pleasure. I had dinner in college on Friday night and with a course friend, Lin, on Saturday - we went to the Perch, on the other side of Port Meadow, which was in flood and full of horses during the beautiful sunset, as we walked over there. The way back was a much darker story, we had to do some deft manoeuvring out of the paths of some horses and one tall specimen was stood resolutely in front of the foot gate so we had to climb over the big gate to get out. I think he might have been the same one hanging his head over the fence in the hopes of stealing someone's chips as we'd come in. 

Anyway. It was lovely to catch up with Lin. She lives in Singapore but is doing a PhD (or DPhil as Oxford prefer it) and is back in Oxford for this term as she needed to resubmit her research plan. We had a good chat. She helped me think about some work things. I had a tough meeting with the head on Thursday and I need to undertake a support plan. The trust suggest (apparently) that this is because I am too nice: I am not holding people accountable when they don't do what I tell them to do. I have felt a bit meh about this since the meeting because I don't want to be that person that is running around putting everyone else on support plans and making them feel grim. But Lin pointed out that I can hold more of a critical friend perspective. Not at all a bad idea. I just need to work out how to do it. 

Thinking again, of course, about just quitting. Maybe this is my sign. Another sign. I don't mind the support plan as it confirms my suspicion that I'm not very good at this job (yet). It also proves that I really can't do all the things at once and do them well. But I'd rather go out on a high. And I have got a ski trip to run next year. 

So, I managed to cram quite a lot into the four-day week. I ran a second round of MSc interviews, attended an interview about a certain infamous Bristolian whose statue is now missing for some UoB students who are making a documentary, went to an evening history lecture and saw some ex-students (lovely), ran a long afternoon webinar about assessment while a colleague delivered the training I'd planned for my own staff, rushed to Oxford for the evening coaching call even though I hadn't managed to do the work. Went to the sauna. Went to the gym but then left because I hadn't packed a t-shirt....I am definitely not hitting my gym goal this month but I am not really minding. Last Sunday I had the embarrassment of missing the bracket when I tried to rerack my weight at the end of the third set of bench press, when I had absolutely nothing left to force the weight back up, so I had to call on a young man for help. The shame. This is what I get for feeling smug when the man at yoga offered me a strap I didn't need. This small incident at the gym left my shoulder an neck feeling quite pulled for the week but that did mysteriously clear almost as soon as I'd finished my Thursday webinar, so perhaps there was some stress in there as well.

I've been getting on with knitting the new purple jumper, which is going fast. I finished watching Lord of the Flies: I loved the 70s cinematography. I finished reading my Alanna books and finally picked up some real books, Robert MacFarlane's Is A River Alive? and back to Claire North's House of Odysseus, which I tried and failed to get through last year but which is flowing much better now, although of course I can no longer remember the finer points of the relationships between all the characters. 

I've booked a ticket to see Robert MacFarlane speak in London in May. It's fantastically indulgent because I will just go to London for one evening. But he's written a new book about birds and I just couldn't resist. 

2026 Week 11

Well, I guess I didn't get round to coming back last week. Last weekend I had quite significant work to do for both my exam jobs and I was also trying to plan a two hour online workshop I'm delivering this Thursday - it has taken waaaaaaay longer than it should have done and is still not finished, but I am hoping I will be invited back to deliver it again, in which case, the work will already have been done. I squeezed in a trip to knitting group, a walk into Waterstones to collect the new Penguin Monarchs Henry VII which is FINALLY OUT (eight years after I bought its other Tudor companions) and a quick gym visit, but other than that was fairly tied to the computer. 

Like I said, I enjoyed it. I enjoy all of those things. But this week has been one of constant reaching for the weekend and yesterday I spent two hours dozing in the sun on the sofa and reading a teen fiction and it was very much needed. I'm glad that I seem to have reached a place of better understanding about my limits so I can be a bit kinder to myself and not wonder why I'm unable to continue working effectively later on in the day, but I wish I could reach a better understanding of how much I am capable of doing. I call it playing the long game, because all of the extras will be continue to be the paid employment I need when (if) I ever give up my main job, but...is it really the long game if I'm never going to do that, I wonder. 

I have been toying with the idea of telling my boss in September that it will be my last year, but also have it in the back of my mind that I won't have a degree to do alongside work next year and it might therefore be better. So, we will see. 

Reading. I bought the new Henry VII book, as above, plus a newish Robert McFarlane about rivers; then I went to the library and brought home two new novels from there. So, naturally, all week I have been reading the Alanna/Lioness Rampant series that I first read as a teenager. They are so easy to work through that I can manage it even after a very long work day but I do struggle to stop, eg on Sunday I stayed up past midnight finishing the 4th one (which I read first...don't at me), which action probably also holds some responsibility for the kink in my week. I do like the series but, as I get older, I find the extremely concertinaed timeline of the later books more problematic ('She's never come to terms with it,' says Alanna's servant, a mere 4 weeks after the seismic event upon which the entire series turns...I am still digesting things I ate 4 weeks ago). I also fear Ms Pierce might be a white supremacist. I am afraid to Google her, in case she is depicted at a fascist rally. The baddies in this series are almost all 'swarthy' or 'dark-skinned' while the whiteness of the goodies' skin is remarked upon often, and I never noticed it as a child. Perhaps she didn't either. Context of the time and all that. 

Watching. Having finished Under Salt Marsh, I was casting around for something equally engaging to watch and came across Task, which I powered through this week. I like an-episode-a-night but, when something is as good as Task, I get nostalgic for the bygone years of one episode a week. There's something in the wait, where you digest and turn over the episode in your mind while waiting for the next one, that enriches the whole experience. I can just barely amass the will-power to stick to one episode a night but do not have it in me to put it off for a week. 

Anyway. Task was one of those rare American dramas where the obvious clues that I always think are so obvious they're red herrings actually ARE red herrings, and the storyline is so complex that I have to spend some time thinking about how it all fits together (hence missing the wait) because it's not all laid out for me. Very definitely NOT two-screen TV and I had to rewind a few times when I forgot this and picked up my phone. Hence, very enjoyable. I very much appreciated that there was no clear good guy/bad guy line and that all the characters seemed to reside on both sides; that there was heavy, series finale energy in episode 6 but episode 7 brought more than just loose-end tying; that the sub-plot was really the main plot; that Martha Plimpton was in it, I LOVE her (all of the acting was superb, Mark Ruffalo especially, but I don't feel like Martha is in enough things so it was a real treat); and the birds. The scenery! I could have coped with a couple of the episodes being a minute longer if there had been bird-watching in that extra minute. This was a theme I felt was a bit under-developed, as a huge fan of birds. 

Knitting. I finished the watermelon cowl, I had it in mind to do a separate post about that, maybe I will. I started knitting a new version of this jumper in the purple yarn I bought at Wonderwool in 2017 - the watermelon gradient was also from 2017, coincidentally. Once it's used up, I will just be left with the cake from Pook and some linen I took out of Jenny's destash left to knit, from the 2017 haul. I might put Jenny's destash into my destash for this Wonderwool. I didn't realise it but I bought something very similar in 2024 and knitted that tank top out of it last summer. 

The new jumper is going quite well, I went up a needle size from the 2013 version because I've never been completely happy with how the neck lies on the original and I'd like a boxier fit; but this may turn out to be a huge mistake because the point of knitting this one in particular is because I can get a whole jumper out of 4 skeins of DK and I may not be able to do that on a bigger needle. BUT I had to significantly lengthen the original sweater so it wasn't midriff-exposing, suggesting my row gauge was off, so maybe it will work out. Otherwise it's going to be a midriff-exposing sweater, good for wearing over dresses. 

I've found it hard to get back to the gym in the same routine I was pre-skiing, maybe because I'm not preparing for skiing anymore, so I have only been once since half term (I'll be going again shortly), but I have found a Hotpod Yoga class I like. I am one the fence about the pod itself, it's a very noisy tent with all the blowers going and the ceiling is quite low; but I came along to a nurturing flow last week and liked it so much I rebooked for this week. It's a bit annoying that it's only 45 minutes but priced the same as an hour class, and I have to add nearly a fiver onto that for parking, but it was a very comforting and coddling way to end the week. Last week we were told we'd need a strap but, when it came to it, I did not need a strap as I can reach my toes in pretty much any forward-bending position (I think this is because I have a long body and short legs but my PT insists I have unusually flexible hamstrings so it's probably a bit of both, right?) The man next to me tried to give me his strap and I had to tell him I didn't need it, which was gratifying. 

A new hot yoga place has opened up the hill from work, where parking is not guaranteed but is free. I might check it out. I do still sorely miss bikram. 

2026 Week 10

It's been a very worky weekend, but I have enjoyed it.  

It hasn't left much time for blogging, though. Hopefully I will come back and update - my knitting progress, my new books, my TV watching and my return to hot yoga. 

2026 Week 9

"A whole week of holiday! It has felt longer than a week. We crammed a lot in."

Above is the single line I found of my update for Week 8 when I came back to blog today. Clearly got distracted, so I will make this as quick as I can. 

A busy work week, leading inset day on Monday and then some more training after school on Thursday, so the whole week was one of feeling tense and on the back foot. I was also, at least for the first two nights, absolutely exhausted, going to bed at 9.30 on Monday night, unable to keep my eyes open, and not much later on Tuesday, having fallen asleep on the sofa. I did give blood on Monday night which, combined with a busy half term and aforementioned tension, probably created the perfect narcoleptic storm, but it was not at all useful for getting All The Things done for work. Still. I muddled through. 

I got to leave at breaktime on Friday and fly to Edinburgh to see Jen and the fam for the first time in over three years: a horrifying amount of time has passed and her oldest is now nearly learning to drive. I feel like I think about my age and aging more than is normal but this really makes me appalled about how much time has passed. 

Anyway. It was a mess up by easyJet that had me out of school so early, they apparently changed my flight time from 5.40pm to 1.40pm, though the original flight still seemed to be operating so I am a bit annoyed about that, they clearly resold my original ticket for more money. Luckily I didn't have to miss any lessons so I was in the pub with Jen by 3.30. A very pleasing start to the weekend. 

On Saturday, we went for a chilly walk around South Queensferry (very bourgie, I can definitely see a yarn shop doing well there) and then went to see Here and Now, the Steps musical, in the evening. It was really, really Steps, in every way you might imagine. Loads of fun and all the hits, plus a mega mix at the end that got the whole balcony moving, an experience I haven't felt since Rocky Horror. 

Today, we went for a wander to the Scottish version of The Wave, a huge surfing complex that has opened in the quarry just behind Jen's house. And then I flew home. I decided to shell out for easyJet Plus membership when I realised I had seven flights booked with them: adding hand luggage and booking a seat on all of them cost more than the cost of membership, without considering any of the other benefits, so I went for it. This got me through fast track security at Edinburgh, so I was at my gate roughly 10 minutes after being dropped off. I know everyone hates the speedy boarders but I can't be sorry about it. 

I've been ploughing through The Raven's Head by Karen Maitland, suitably creepy; and I got through all of Under Salt Marsh. I was very put out when I got to the end of episode 5 on Thursday and realised there was another one to be released, I had to wait until today to watch it, but it was worth the wait. I enjoyed it a lot. 

I've been trying to finish the watermelon brioche cowl that I started knitting ages ago but it is just not very compelling. I need to have something fun and easy to knit next, a DK jumper or something that I can knit without looking at and will feel the need to complete before the Iceland trip in April. 

Spent much of the evening plotting a little trip to the German Christmas markets. I am getting the holidays stacked up this year, dreaming of life after the Masters. 

Scenes from Gare de Lyon

We wait for the lift. We've been waiting a few minutes. It's quite bleak in the vestibule and a French couple are waiting behind us. 

The doors open: a family with a buggy and luggage, a man at the back. Nobody moves. The man at the back tries to exit but the man in front of him is not interested in moving. He says, in English, 'Well I can't get out, you'll have to wait.' The man behind him gently protests, in French-accented English, to no avail. A few seconds of muttering ensue. 

The doors close on this unfortunate tableau.

Moments later, they reopen. Frustrated Frenchman tries again to leave, Rude Englishman tells him he 'should have taken the fucking escalator'. Something in me goes ping. 

Me: oh do you need help! Please, let me help! *rushes forward and grabs suitcase and huge bag of pampers from Rude Man before he can react*

Rude Man: I don't want to get out

Me: I know you don't, but he does

Rude Man: Well he could have taken the fucking escalator

Me: And you could be less rude

Surprisingly, this cows Rude Man, who retrieves his belongings and gets back in the lift. In the brief interim, Frenchman has exited, so all seems well. The doors close on him and his stoic wife and children. 

Moments later, the doors open again. Rude Man's humiliation deepens and he repeatedly and helplessly jabs the button for the floor he is on. 'There are only two levels,' I say, 'the one you came from and this one'. 'But there are three buttons!' he replies. He's not wrong, but it is quite clear that this is the floor they are meant to be on. They exit the lift. He stalks away, muttering 'Go fuck yourself' at me, but quietly, and from a distance. His wife and children follow.

'Have a great day!' I call after him. We laugh. The French couple laugh. We all board the lift and get on with our days. 

The only trouble with exchanges like this is, I fear he will be utterly horrible to his wife and children for the rest of the day.

Also, one day I'm going to get punched.

2026 Week 7

A little late but I am on holiday, let me off. 

The last week of term flew by in a predictably swift way. I managed to power through quite a lot of marking, peaking on Wednesday, when I finished marking my Y13 mocks in time to give them back before the end of term. This was an utter triumph but marked the end of my productivity on this front, which is why I was marking GCSE mocks on the train from Paris to Oulx on Sunday. On Thursday, I allowed myself a swift stomp down to Farro as I was just staring at the wall, intellectually paralysed; happily, their blood orange and chocolate Danish, combined with the walk, managed to kick me into some sort of working mood so I did get some things planned. I'd be happier if I'd got more done but, then, wouldn't that just mean I would have thought of other things that needed doing?

Not much happened by way of leisure. I went to the gym, to yoga and to see my PT, but I skipped the sauna as I was meant to be giving blood, which in the end I had to postpone, on account of having had a bit of a cold the previous week. Annoying. 

I ordered a new ski boot bag and spent two evenings lovingly rearranging things within it. Packing for skiing was harder than usual, I was just very unsure about what I would need, and being on the train meant I didn't have to limit myself, so naturally I overpacked. 

I was verily glued to the Winter Olympics on the TV, enjoying a lot of things but particularly the snowboard cross and the figure skating. I might be the only person in the world who doesn't like Ilia Mallinin. Reading-wise, I pulled out two teen novels that are such easy reads - The Fortunate Few by Tim Kennemore and Lioness Rampant by Tamora Pierce, reading both in the space of a week because I know them both extremely well. It's comforting to go back to old favourites. It must nearly be time for the The Dark Is Rising reread. 

On Saturday, Rachael and I started our journey to skiing. We spent Saturday afternoon wandering around Paris and had a nice dinner that involved French onion soup (a must for me). On Sunday, we hung out at Gare de Lyon most of the day as their left luggage was taking only cash and, even then, only coins...who has 25 euros in coins, I had to wonder. There was an incident with a rude man but I will write separately about that as I wrote the story down on my phone immediately afterwards, for blogging purposes. 

Our onward journey to Oulx was slightly marred by the fact that our seats had been taken by some schoolchildren and we were escorted to what seemed, to me, to be very inferior seats; but then, it was probably better than being in the middle of a carriage of schoolchildren. That carriage smelled pretty awful when we went to retrieve our luggage, 5 hours later. 

We were also delayed and missed the last bus to our accommodation and, it turned out, Italy doesn't really do taxis in its ski resorts on a Sunday night. After half an hour of ringing every number I could find, one of the pre-booked drivers took pity on us and ran us up the mountain, thankfully. Just as we arrived, it started to snow, and it hasn't really stopped until this afternoon. Dreamy. 

More ski news in next week's update. 

Early Spring Goals

Full goblin mode this term. It was all self-care, like mulching in my chrysalis for six weeks, so I can emerge this weekend onto the ski slopes as a rejuvenated butterfly. 

The fails first: no way was I going to be able to use up the Lush, when I counted I had about two dozen baths in the box and that was without the stash deep dive (found some bath bombs that are at least 15 years old, for example). But I did have more baths. The hair and face masks - hair, yes; face, turns out I didn't actually have many face masks in my stash. I must have been remembering a bygone glut. So I used up the ones I had but, quite quickly. The secret husband day out...well, it was planned and we were all ready to go with the tickets, but unfortunately Mr Z has had a very bad foot for over a week now and so we had to cancel. No complaints from me as I was able to stay home and watch the women's downhill, but a shame, as I'm sure he would have enjoyed it. 

But the successes! Cannot believe I managed 15 gym visits. Adding the hot yoga, six regular yogas and six PT sessions, I've exercised on 29 days out of the first 43. Not too shabby. The last gym visit was a monumental slog, but I am as fit as I can be for skiing. I learned the skillup machine (cross country ski machine, you might call it) and am working it into my regular routine. 

I deleted Facebook off my phone and I haven't actually missed it. I read it every evening on my computer until I see something racist or bigoted in some other way, and then I close it. Sometimes that happens depressingly quickly.  

I've built up to one minute in the five degree cold plunge at the sauna. I have discovered I really like going there in the rain. I went for a pedicure with my old beautician who's set out on her own, which was a lovely catch up and great to support a small business. And I did some cleaning jobs, but mainly I am pleased about my new routine of a Friday night reset, putting away all the clothes and cleaning the kitchen. That will be one to bring into the Late Spring goals list. 

I feel very accomplished. No idea what else to put on for the next round, though. 

Tuesday Ten

Ten pictures from Sauze d'Oulx

On Saturday, Rachael and I are off skiing to Sauze d'Oulx. It will be my sixth visit there but my first this early in the season and my first without a coachload of teenagers. Sauze holds a very special place in my heart because it was the first place I went skiing as an adult, back in 2006. Here's my 2006 blog rundown of that trip, which pre-dates this iteration -

Skiing was amazing, though. It came back to me surprisingly quickly - the whole kick-your-heels-up-the-mountain thing to stop, snow ploughing, falling over…easy peasy. The first day was pretty bleak; it snowed all day and by the end we were all soaked through (wet April snow) and freezing and very miserable. On top of that, the basic run took us 90 minutes to complete and nobody could see more than a few feet ahead of them. One girl was so blinded by the snow she skied straight off the path and down a snow drift. We all looked on complacently as the ski instructor pulled her out. The next day, when visibility was clear, we realized exactly what she'd nearly fallen down, and a whole new page to my risk assessment for next year was born.

Anyway, by the end of Monday I was deeply regretting booking a trip. I was very fed up, and not finding the other staff overly friendly (well duh…they'd only met me the day before, and we'd been up all night on the coach together), and feeling pretty sorry for myself. So I drowned my sorrows in a vat of red wine, and had to ski the next day with the dehydration that represents the worst hangover symptom I ever suffer from. This was more of a problem than it sounds - I didn't want to drink too much water and risk having to wee in a ceramic hole halfway up a mountain whilst clutching my jumpers, t-shirt and jacket to me in a vain attempt to keep them from soaking up the waste products of previous weak-bladdered skiers; but on the other hand I had the whole dry-mouth, whirly-world thing going on. Thankfully (!) by this point the bus had completely broken down, so we had to walk to the ski lift - 20 minutes uphill - by which point I was feeling more human. From Tuesday on we had the most glorious sunny weather, and it didn't break until Saturday when we had a little more light snow.

Honestly, I could wax lyrical about my trip for pages. I could tell you about the competitive kids who were always cutting me up. I could tell you about the instructor ("My very compliments to you Sally…Sally ees very nice person, yes, you kids agree with me, yes?"). I could tell you about skiing in the slalom race and coming 3rd in my group and winning the bronze medal. I could tell you about the copious amounts of red wine we quaffed every night. I could mention the night at the pizza place, the morning in Bardonecchia watching boarders attempt the Olympic half-pipe (and one very athletic skier). I could even, if you really wanted, give you a blow-by-blow account of the 12 hour coach journey back, and how we missed our ferry because the girls were too squeamish to use the hole-in-the-ground toilets at the service stations and insisted on queueing up for the disabled loo. But I'm not going to. I'll save it all for next year's trip.

Fell down a diario hole reading through my 2006 blog. I was very funny, obviously, but also, wow, life as a teacher was wildly different. Also, that 90 minute run, I can now complete in well under 5 minutes. I might time myself next week, just for comparison. 

After the 2006 inspection visit with another school, I didn't come back until 2009, when I brought my school two Easters in a row. Then I brought my new school in 2018, when I took control of the ski trip, and then the infamous 2023 trip that involved the 58 hour coach journey. I'm delighted to find we're going to be staying opposite the hotel we went to for the last two trips, it's very near to a lift. I'm excited about being able to ski to town level and do actual apres. I'm hoping there will be some sort of seasonal ski show. I'm desperate to ski all the way to France and back in a day. And, of course, I can visit my favourite cake shop down the mountain. 

Here are the pictures. It took some digging. 

1. 2006. Ski clothes loaned to me by the tour operator. Recognise the t-shirt?

2. Someone from the forum knitted me this hat. No helmet because why would you. No goggles. Gloves not mittens (ugh, sacrilege). That magic little super speedy two man chair that left bruises on the back of your legs. 

3. 2009. With my own school. There's a second version of this picture where we've all collapsed into each other. The absolute best ski trip buddies of all time: this was the first of (I cannot believe it was only) four trips together. 

4. This cafe though. 

5. 2010. Same two-man chair. Helmet now because I tried to buy boots on the first day and they couldn't find any to fit me, so I bought the helmet instead. Then got boots the next day. 

6. There's a great picture of me skiing by with my poles on my head, wind whipping up my helmetless hair, but I had to put in a deckchair one, obvs. 

7. 2018. Helmet (second one: 2014 purchase) and goggles because I was so heavily influenced by my ski trip buddy Tom and now I can't ski any other way. I had to put in a snowy one, obvs. This was my first trip with the new school and I wanted to go somewhere where I felt confident. 

8. New ski trip buddies. Alex's first time skiing. This was costume day and I am meant to be Wonderwoman. I had an argument with piste patrol about the correct treatment for one of my students, and won it. I was only wearing sunglasses because it was lunchtime, honest. 

You have to pretend this one isn't here because it brings my count to 11, but I had to squeeze in the deckchairs. 

9. 2023. First one back post-covid. So joyful, even with the journey from hell. Bloody Brexit. 

10. Same deckchairs. Noticably less snow. 

2026 Week 6

I emerged from goblin mode this week and had quite a pleasant one, all things considered. Work feels manageable; I said to Becky at the start of the week that I thought I might be able to finish my to-do list this week and it very nearly happened. I was able to advance some work projects that were irking me, too, so they're not done but at least they're in progress. I worked away on my new exam board job for probably far more hours than would be covered by the fee (note to self: set a timer next time) and managed to submit a little early. No dissertation work happened but I had a good conversation with other teacher friends today about it and it has made me feel more positive and eager to move forward with it. 

I was sharing a car with said teacher friends on a return trip to London for a history conference on Saturday. I've not been to this one before because, really, it's not so useful for me to go to history conferences these days, due to my changed job role. But I have been to so many over the years that, when I don't go, I realise I miss out on the social aspect of being embedded in my subject community. It really felt like I knew half of the people there today, many of whom I had not seen for a number of years, and I was able to make some introductions that I hope will be helpful for a friend trying to get a job in a new area. Plus they had a great historian to speak and I enjoyed that a lot. Only one bad workshop. Another from one of the people who interviewed me when I went for that job at the big O in 2020, that was quite good. Interesting to see the inside of another school. The post-conference pub visit and the road trip might have been the best bit though.

I continued with all the usual self-care things - three gym trips, yoga, PT session, sauna. I listlessly knitted on the watermelon cowl, I'm not really into it for some reason. I didn't really read as I was up too late doing my new exam job to do much reading afterwards. I've been watching a lot of winter Olympics lead up stuff on the new winter sports channel that has appeared. Love the winter Olympics. I can't decide how I feel about Lindsey Vonn doing her ACL but skiing in the downhill anyway, though. I really want to be supportive and think she is a hero...well, she is a hero...but I am nervous for her. It's not just about never skiing again, supposing she can't walk again? I don't know. But I have been doing her ski workouts that I nick from the gram and they are good, I know she is in peak physical condition. 

Writing this on Saturday night for posting on Sunday and it's occurred to me that, by this time tomorrow, she will have competed so I can come back with my verdict. 

....well. That did not end well. Never good when you can hear the screaming from the drone footage. 

Throwaway Thursday - the golden glitter

An occasional series that I might also title, 'Things in my house that are basically rubbish but I am a borderline hoarder and cannot bring myself to throw them out'. The idea is to memorialise such things here and then bin them for good. 

Boy, do I have a treat for you. I present - some golden craft glitter that I bought in the 90s. 

As you can see, there is not much left and it has lost its lid. Why do I still give it house room? Well, for one thing, these are the OG microplastics and how one safely disposes of these things now is anybody's guess. For another, I have some fond memories of it. 

I used to use this as a glitter eyeliner, which makes me want to cry now, and not just as a contact lens wearer. How did I not go blind? I also used to rub cocoa butter on my limbs and then sprinkle it liberally over myself before going out clubbing - I have a vivid memory of doing this before going to some 70s club round the back of Oxford Street, when I wore my PVC dress and we took many pictures which Justine never had developed. The next day, the guy from work I'd sort of been seeing picked me up from work and took me on the infamous worst date of my life (I am bound to have written about it on here before) which involved driving from Brent Cross to the Dartford Bridge and back, and that was it; I had managed about two hours of sleep and was still covered in glitter, because my house didn't have a shower and I hadn't had time for a bath. It was our last date, obviously. I like to think some of that glitter stayed on his passenger seat for the rest of the time he owned the car, it would be some small restitution. 

The last time I can remember using the glitter like this was on this night in Ibiza in 2002, when we went to see Dave Pearce at Eden -

Shortly after this picture was taken, the front barman picked me up for another photo, which sadly I can't find (I think it involved some unflattering leg angles though, honestly, at my current age and weight, I cannot believe I could find any picture of me from 2002 unflattering); when he put me down again he was mystified as to what had happened to his arms, which were covered in a mixture of this glitter and Lush's King of Skin. Good luck getting that off, mate. 

That creepy barman on the right (the one I am leaning away from) grabbed me and tried to kiss me when I was the last person in the bar one night, so grim: an experience that lightly taints the pictures from this trip. 

Anyway. I won't use this as a cosmetic anymore, now that I respect my skin and eyes; I did use some of it for making photo frames, back when I used to do that; half of it spilled in the top drawer of the filing cabinet; what possible use could I have for what is left? 

It is pretty, though. 

Tuesday Ten - 2025 part 4

31. What did you do on your birthday?
I got my nails done, then drove into Bristol and got softserve and a babka from a favourite bakery. Mr Z made curry and flatbreads for tea. Other than that, I packed for my holiday, worked on my metanalysis and was quiet at home. I don't often have birthdays at home so that made a change but it was also quite muted because we were into Mother Z's final fortnight, though we didn't know it, so Mr Z spent much of the day round there. 

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I really can't think of anything. It was quite a satisfying year. As I think I've mentioned before, I would have liked more down time, but I'm not sure that really fits the word satisfying. 

33. How would you describe your personal fashion this year?
Dopamine dressing. Colour. How a primary school child might dress for an office job. 

I have reintroduced trousers into my wardrobe this year, now that there is less belly. I had my Vietnam-crafted suit trousers taken in at a local mender's and bought some pink herringbone tweed trousers from Boden (with the jacket - the suit feels a bit much worn all together but I do get compliments). I hadn't really worn trousers to work for about 10 years, apart from loose palazzo-style under short dresses, so that was new. 

My favourite new shop discovery was Aligne. I have spent so long shopping in just one or two places, resigned to the fact nobody stocks bigger sizes, that I stopped looking elsewhere, so it was pleasant to discover that many brands have moved on a bit now and do stock an extended size range. My only issue with Aligne is that their dresses are so short, especially for those of us who are long of body and fat of thigh - what should be a clean and slightly angular look becomes positively salacious on me. I am also quite picky in that I don't like midi or maxi length, really: I want something between mid-thigh and knee. It's not really a bad thing that there are not loads of items in the range I want to buy, though. I do probably have enough clothes to last me for the rest of my life. 

I also bought more pearls. I got a long string at Wonderwool and then a double row with a big crystal flower clasp from an antiques stall at a little market in Oxford. Then Mr Z gifted me pearl earrings for Christmas. I believe this is me leaning into middle-age jewellery, as if my burgeoning collection of brooches didn't already indicate this clearly enough. 

34. What kept you sane?

Mr Z. The cats. Getting more sleep. Doing hot and cold things - swimming, sauna. The gym. Actually love the gym now, what a weirdo. 

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most?

OK, hear me out - I have to choose Charli XCX. I just very much enjoy watching her live her projection of her best life whilst at the same time she is grinding and has been very upfront about the fact that pretty much everyone in her life is someone she wants to work with. I appreciate a woman who loves her work to the point of being unable to ever put it down (one of my tribe). I appreciate the smoking, I miss smoking. I loved the wedding, both of them. I'm really very anti Class A drugs but, meh. 

I'm sure there are lots of people who are more worthy due to their political activism but, honestly, I've probably consumed more content about Charli XCX than anyone else. This feels vaguely pathetic as someone almost old enough to have birthed her but, I must own my truth. 

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Immigration. I am appalled at how anti-immigration rhetoric is now just acceptable mainstream opinion. I hate the fact so many people seem to think people shouldn't be able to claim asylum, the way that it is brutal and deep-seated racism dressed up as something more socially acceptable, that the lies attached to it are repeated and believed by so many seemingly normal people, that it's used as a scapegoat for social issues caused by nearly two decades of reduced public spending because a bunch of super-rich bankers decided to crash the world's economy so they could enrich themselves. I could go on and on and on about how damaging, hateful and, frankly, embarrassing it is. Mostly I just don't talk about it. Nobody will ever change my mind so I don't see much point in trying to change anybody else's.

37. Who did you miss?

I missed my dad far more than I ever expected to. I suppose it's because, though we didn't speak much, we did speak at least once a year. It has now been two years since he died. I don't think there's much I'd have to tell him but I'd be interested in his take on the current political situation, though it has to be said that living in the US had turned some of his views a bit white supremacist - not right-wing, but definitely more than a little bit racist. Or maybe he was always that way but we just never really talked about it. 

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I'm sure I must have met some new people last year but I actually can't remember any of them. 

39. What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?

Actively plan things for downtime. Don't leave it until you get the break, when your decision fatigue, executive dysfunction, whatever you want to call it, will result in all of that relaxation time being whiled away in a combination of scrolling, listlessness, guilt and regret. And you know, it might be easy to say that doing nothing is necessary and is relaxing in itself, and I can agree to a point, but what's MORE relaxing is nourishing mind, body and soul with a carefully-curated selection of your favourite activities and actually having them ready and planned so you don't have to make any choices but can just relax into enjoying them. 

Pretty long life lesson. 

40. What is a quote that sums up your year?

'You can't pour from an empty jug'. 

2026 Week 5

Quite a goblin week this week. I didn't really watch much, knit much or read much. I even cried off knitting yesterday morning. 

I spent much of the week being really annoyed but I wasn't really sure why. I feel like I have too many things to do and I feel creeping dread about getting my dissertation done, it feels as though I have very little time left to do it. I don't really know why; the deadline is not that close. I can't progress my project until I get the go-ahead from work, though, so maybe that's it. So I keep thinking I should change back to my original topic which won't really require any permission. 

Yeah, it's making a bit more sense why I've been in a poor mood for most of the week. 

I did all the self-care things. Monday, gym; Tuesday, sauna; Wednesday, yoga; Thursday, PT; Friday, hot yoga. Baths and early nights. Nice pyjamas. I tried exceptionally hard to eat sensibly. I only had one coffee all week. I kept reminding myself that it is almost thinking about getting light when I leave for work in the mornings now. But, to no avail. Sometimes I think you just have to accept the slump. On Thursday night, I decided I would not sit at my computer, messing around online while feeling bad about not doing the stack of marking I brought home, but would instead sit at my computer and fight my work inbox for an hour. This was very successful. It resulted in a much happier Friday and a much calmer weekend, mainly because I know there aren't a dozen things lurking that I haven't quite done. Maybe that was also the creeping dread. 

I spent a big chunk of Saturday working on my new exam board job. It took me most of the day to get started, predictably, because I wasn't totally sure what to do, but once I got started - yes. This is the exam board job for me. Spotting typos. Grammar pedantry. Considering whether a specific word really insinuates what we want it to. I looked up and it was 11.30pm. 

The only other thing of note this week was that I met a politician at school. He is quite famous. I'm not writing the name because he's also quite divisive. He was a local MP until 2024 and has a reputation for being Victorian and lying on benches. One of our pol teachers wrote to lots of local politicians, inviting them in, and he was the only one who replied, so then we had to have him in, even though our students (and staff) made a half-hearted protest against it. As I imagined he would be, he was scrupulously polite, extremely measured and put across his point of view very well. It was interesting to watch him blow our students' minds a little every time he said something they agreed with. There were some really quite significant holes in his arguments, and I was left a little sad that our lot aren't quite up to pushing back on some of these, but tbf, we did tell them to stay respectful and not bring the school into disrepute, so that might be partly our fault. 

He said at the beginning that, if you want to test if you believe in free speech, you have to listen to people you don't agree with, and I think we can all say we did that. I'm mainly relieved that he didn't use the visit to announce he was moving even further right and joining that other party. I would have thought he would have been above it, as they don't really seem to have any ideology other than, 'Go away', but apparently he is considering it. 

Throwaway Thursday - the Banana Republic tee

The first in an occasional series that I might also title, 'Things in my house that are basically rubbish but I am a borderline hoarder and cannot bring myself to throw them out'. The idea (and I think I've done this before) is to memorialise such things here and then bin them for good. 

Up first: the Banana Republic tee. 

I have had one of these t-shirts in my wardrobe since 1992. Father Hand bought me a light grey marl version with a dark green logo when I visited him in Florida over Christmas that year. I wore it throughout my teen years. 

School trip to Venice, 1993.

(In 2004 I was coming to the end of a phase of trying to get my picture taken with as many policemen as possible. I don't remember why I got into this phase, but I do have a lot of pictures of me with policemen.) 

When I returned to live with Father Hand in 2000, I came back with (I think) three such t-shirts, having worn the original into rags. I had them in dark blue, dark red and dark grey. The dark blue and dark red are both long gone but this grey one remained. 

It has reached the end of its life as a t-shirt. It was worn to holes around the neck, hem and underarm stitching. I put it on at the gym last week and almost had second thoughts about wearing it, partly because who goes to the gym in rags and because one catch on a handlebar or weight and I feared the whole thing would rip away from me and I would then have to stop going to that gym. So, I washed it one last time and then chopped it neatly into squares to use as mini whiteboard rubbers at school. In fact, I did that before I remembered to take a picture. But I'm keeping the logo. 

Happily, due to the world we live in now, I found another one online second-hand for under a tenner, so that's basically an unbroken ownership streak of 34 years for this t-shirt style. 

(Update on this: said t-shirt was apparently shop-lifted out of the shop the day before I bought it, so my streak is broken. If anybody sees one for sale...)

Pigeon attack, Venice, 1993. 

Tuesday Ten - 2025 part 3

21. How are you spending the holidays? 

I spent them in the usual way - lots of rest, lots of cold turkey, a visit from Mother Hand, a lot of Super Mario.

If we're talking about more than just Christmas (which we are because this isn't America), I spent most of my holiday time in Oxford or in one of the places listed in the first of these posts. The summer holiday flew by depressingly quickly because I had so much to do. I am determined to not have a repeat of that this year: I will get my dissertation as finished as it can be before the first deadline in July, so I don't have to give up most of a second summer holiday. 

22. Did you fall in love this year?

Not with anybody or anything new. 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, I don't really hate people. I find some people intensely irritating and that list hasn't really changed since last year. I'm sure other people find the same thing, that you spend ages waiting for someone you don't like at work to leave, and then they go, only to find there was someone else equally unlikeable just waiting in the wings for the opportunity to be irritating. 

Nobody annoying has left work in the past year but I am resigned to just allowing the flies in my ointment, mainly because they make me appreciate their absence so much. 

I don't think there's anybody intensely irritating in my personal life that I have to see often, because I have control over that and I tend to just, not see those people. 

24. What was your favourite show?
Mostly 2025 was a year of rewatches - The Good Wife, The Wire and The Sopranos. I loved them all and technically The Wire was not a rewatch because I never finished it first time round. 

Of new series, probably The Last of Us had the biggest impact. I'm still not at peace with the ending. I also enjoyed Celebrity Traitors which I binged over Christmas, unable to put up with the pressure from my Y13s any longer. 

I do spend a lot of time being advised to watch things that I never have time to sit down to. 

25. What was the best book you read?

I think my favourite from last year was Lessons in Chemistry, it made me laugh so much.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery of the year?
This wasn't really a year to discover new music. I've stopped listening to the radio so how would I know what's new? But probably Chappell Roan, she has managed to break through. 

27. What was your favourite film?
Did I see any new films in 2025? I must have done. I saw Wicked 2 but it was only OK, I am not really supportive of it being made in two parts, I don't love it that much. Maybe The Phoenician Scheme? That was better but still not amazing. 

28. What was your favourite meal?
I love eating. This is a really hard choice. But probably the tasting menu we had at Smalhans in Oslo. Everything tasted super fresh and delicious and there was lots of fish, which I love. My favourite was probably the cabbage wedge that accompanied the beef, probably because it was doused in melted butter. 

Plus we did the accompanying wine flight. And the company was excellent: Rachael found us the restaurant and did the booking, and it's particularly fun going to eat with Alex because he loves eating as much as I do and will try pretty much anything - this is key for a tasting menu, in my opinion. Rachael was very brave and ate everything except the strawberries. Love that she drew the line at this. 

Clean plate. Absolutely necessary napkin placement. 

Honourable mentions: 

Street eating in Bari, with Campari Spritz, live singing from someone who I'm going to say was the son of the owner's sister, going by the dynamic we witnessed between these people, and very delicious cime di rapa orecchiette. 

Dinner at the castle in Albania. Albanian tasting menu. 

The Turkish breakfast at my local cafe. No pictures of this but it is top notch. It is what I eat when Mr Z has the full English at Saturday brunch. Fresh veggies, cheese, honey, eggs with a little sausage, flatbreads and some kind of crispy fried pastry with a little cheese and spinach inside. Actually quite similar to Albanian fare, not surprisingly I guess. 

Mr Z's Keralan beef and flatbreads. My choice of birthday meal this year. Very good with my home-made mango chutney and a little yogurt.

29. What did you want and get?

Um. A tricky question. Like, materially? - because I don't really want for anything. I'm very fortunate. 

I guess I wanted a bit more designer jewellery because this has become a spendy treat attached to my exam money every year (I sort of consider it an investment, as this stuff does seem to hold value, though probably not when you wear it as joyfully and often as I do), so I got a little hoop stack from Loewe, that you can see in the picture of me drinking, above. 

More generally, I got a reader card for All Souls library which was a really convoluted process on which I refused to give up; I got merits in three of my MSc assignments, after I talked myself into being happy with any passing mark; and I got another exam board job for another exam board (actually two but I turned one down when I worked out it seemed to pay roughly minimum wage - not really OK for a skilled role and I am privileged enough to be able to say no to such things) which - did I want it? - want is a strong word, but it is another aspect of the role that I haven't done before so, learning. And if I ever manage to leave teaching, it will be a few more pounds in the bank each year. 

30. What did you want and not get?

I'm quite keen on the idea of an MP3 player but I haven't advanced that thought yet. At the moment I use my old phone (purchased circa 2017) as my music player and I am particularly fond of the fact that I never have to connect it to the internet. The internet is not what it used to be. I keep thinking about replacing it because part of the reason the old phone is my old phone is because the battery is not reliable; but now that battery packs are a thing I worry about that less. 

Less materially, I wanted to work less hard and this did not happen. In fact, it so emphatically didn't happen that it has pushed me further down the road out of teaching than any year previously. 

I also wanted a pretty gardenful of flowers, such as I managed in 2024, but there was no chance of that. March was unbelievable, there was no time for planting anything. Maybe this year. 

Oh yes, and I would have liked to lose some more weight, but did not. I am trying very hard not to be sad about it. I am the fittest I have ever been and I got rid of the diabetes, for now. That made it much harder to lose weight, because where is the incentive...but I will keep trying.