2026 Week 38

The dissertation is in! I am free! 

It has been an interesting couple of days reflecting on it, because the worry about getting it done has been a fixture for a year but I sort of forgot that the rest of the course was around for a whole year before that, so it has been two years of thinking, in most free moments, that I could be doing some reading or writing. I had my good weight loss episode right at the start of the course but haven't managed to lose any more and now I am wondering (hoping) if it was the distraction that has prevented it. I also noticed that, even though Thursday was a tired day as I'd been up very late finishing, I was straight away able to bring more to my job than I had been since the start of term. The brain is such an interesting thing. I definitely wanted to do the Masters, but I'm not sure I really considered how much work it would be. 

Anyway, it's done now. I submitted around 1am on Thursday morning, shortly after my computer fully crashed as I tried to save it as a pdf for the 4th time (kept spotting mistakes) and wiped at least a month off my lifespan. Naturally all I can think now was about the bits I wish I hadn't put in, or said, but at the least it should pass so I should try to worry a bit less. 

I've spent the weekend lazing, mainly: a 2 hour afternoon nap on Saturday (cannot remember the last time I allowed myself to do this), a lunch and a book talk from Robert Harris with Rachael on Sunday. Many re-marks, obvs, but the deadline for those is Thursday so the end is in sight for that, too. 

I continue to read my library book, At First Light. I've almost caught up on Vigil. I went to the sauna for an impromptu Thursday session and they have a new sauna installed, very lovely. I made it to hot yoga on Saturday morning, and then knitting, where I cast on a new project. The Return of the Life. 

2026 Week 35

I have many posts I'd like to make about my summer, but really I need to save as much writing energy as I can for finishing the dissertation, so I will content myself with just a brief update about the past week. 

I spent last weekend down in Kent with my family, Mother Hand grew up there and wanted to take the grandchildren back to see it. We rented a house right next to the beach, so I got up each morning, donned swimwear and my dressing gown and then went out and got straight in the water. What a dream! I suppose I wouldn't be able to do this every day in my everyday life but I do wish I was living by the sea again. 

It was the usual family saga. I won't bore you. But I had a lot of fun with the niblings. 

I drove home on Monday and have spent most of the rest of the week seated at my computer, doing mark reviews, prepping school work or (the bulk) working on the dissertation. I'm just over 14,000 words now and feeling like the end of the first draft might be in sight. Maybe. I want to try to finish my results section today. 

There was some social activity as well. On Thursday I fitted in a quarry swim and dinner with my friend Caroline, whom I haven't seen in person for nearly two years. We had a great catch up, she is so much fun to hang out with. Then on Friday I went to the opening of the new Coconut Tree on Bristol centre with my local Bristol friends, our first get together since Christmas. Also lots of fun although we did not have great service, in spite of the fact there were at least seven people working front of house. They did comp us the drinks, at least, and the food was good, but it was a bit painful. Nevermind - more time for catching up. 

I also made it to hot yoga and we tried a new location for knitting group, which was indeed pretty dark. The hunt for a central, accessible cafe with gluten free and vegan options that has enough space and light for us continues (spoiler: it doesn't exist). 

I finished knitting the blue jumper I've been working on for a couple of months, only to realise that it is very similar to another jumper I have already knitted - but without the big lightning bolt, so probably a bit easier to wear. I might make a post about it when it's dried from its blocking and I can photograph it.

No reading, but I started a new audiobook on the drive home from Kent, How the South Won the Civil War, which seems like it will be very interesting. I finally finished watching Euphoria, they really have ensured that's not coming back though I feel there might be a Fay/Wayne spin off hinted at. Mr Z and I have been watching Legends which is really very good, we're a bit sad it is only six episodes and one season but presumably that's how it's going to stay very good. 

2026 Week 31

Five weeks since I've managed a Sunday update! In that time, I've managed to finish off (allegedly) the summer exam series, complete the last three and a half weeks of the school year (which included four days in Birmingham and a sports day, but very little actual teaching) and add about 3000 words to the dissertation. There has been much lolling around doing little silly bits on the computer and playing endless hands of Freecell on my phone. There has been some arguing with pension providers because the exam board managed to get my date of birth wrong when they updated their payment system earlier this year. That's all the annoying stuff, anyway. 

On the plus side, there have been trips - I went to Oxford for an overnight to do dissertation work right after we broke up, which included a swim in the Thames at Fiddlers Island, off Port Meadow. I have wanted to swim here since my first uni visit to Oxford but have not been brave enough to go in alone. This time, I walked over there promising myself I would only get in if other people were there, and there were, so I did. Of course, being me, I could not get in where everyone else was, so I waded in at a likely-looking spot that was so deep with mud it almost tugged off my sandal. I spent the rest of the swim slightly concerned that I had a footful of leeches or some other problem - I did not. 

It's very pretty there and the water flows from two places, rejoining under a bridge, off of which some lads were leaping. I overheard them telling some dog-walker that they'd travelled all the way from Aylesbury for a swim. At that point I was gently swimming towards the middle arch of the bridge; one of them said, 'Oh I will just jump in once more' and came to right above where I was, climbing onto the parapet to prepare to jump. I really think he did not even see me, so I had to take swift evasive action and he landed a few feet away. I know there's a whole thing about middle aged women being invisible, but come on. 

I quite fancied a jump from the bridge but then decided I couldn't know the depth and didn't want to deal with wet hair, so I contented myself with just bobbing about. Said boys then moved on to going off a rope swing, though I noted with interest that they were ever so fraidy about letting go - not that surprising, maybe, because poor timing might have landed them painfully on the bank. It made me think about the fear. On the other side of me were a couple of girls who were contemplating one day bring like 'that lady' (me) and going out of their depth. There was me, contemplating jumping off the bridge. Then there were the bridge jumpers, contemplating going off the swing. I wonder if there were people on the meadow, contemplating getting in the water. I am not sure what might be scarier than going off the rope swing. 

I got a fair amount done in Oxford but not the full first draft, as I wanted. I was supposed to work on it all this week but I managed an hour on Friday, pretty pathetic. But it will get done. I have convinced myself that it could now be completed in one 48-hour burst - not well, but finished - and so I have lost any motivation to work on it. It will come on holiday with me and maybe I will find my groove again. 

After Oxford I hot-footed it off to London for many excursions and catch ups. I did 37,000 steps in two days and my knee is still talking about. I began in Richmond on Sunday, with a visit to Ham House with Burhan (very little ham, but not one of those NT houses where the owners don't really want you there, so that was good). From there I went to my hotel by St Paul's and had a drink in their slightly disappointing rooftop bar, great views but poor service and what seemed to be a pre-mixed cocktail. It was deliciously cold up there, though, which was very welcome. There were a couple of women I'd given directions to earlier in the evening, huddled on a sofa, wrapped in blankets like old nonnas. I lasted one drink and one chapter of Dracula and then went to bed. 

Monday was the busy day. I went to the sauna first thing, marred by the pumping Europop (why?!); then I went to St Paul's and immediately climbed to the roof to enjoy the views. I scouted Ally Pally and took a picture of it. I returned to ground level for the tour I'd booked, taking in Tyndale's bible - which involved reclimbing a whole bunch of stairs. From there, I hot-footed my way over to Somerset House for the Escher exhibition, which I really loved. I even managed to piss off a man by not doing what he wanted, bonus. 

From there, over to the V&A for the Schiaparelli exhibition. I loved this, such fun clothes, but I didn't realise there was a modern iteration and I'm not sure if it was really my thing. The old stuff though - superb. Loved it. I could have spent a lot longer there, but I was getting a bit browsed out by that point, so I went back to the hotel for a micro-rest and then over to the ladies pond on Hampstead Heath for a swim. It was much warmer than last year and a lot busier, but also a lot more ducklings - so cute. 

Sample conversation:

Girl 1: Our limit it 2.3

Girl 2: And what is Matt putting in? 

Pause

Girl 2: 1.1? 1.2?

Girl 1: 1.4

Girl 2: So you're capping at 900,000? Well you work hard enough...

Girl 1: Stop, it's...Mind your business!

Girl 2: You are my business.

Hampstead, eh? 

From there I went over to AP and took a picture of St Paul's, so I could meld them together for a morning/evening comparison. 

I'm way too excited about this. 

I met one of the exam board guys for drinks, which was fun. We normally only see each other once a year at a conference but this year we have managed three. We never seem to run out of things to talk about and chatted until I was much colder than I realised. 

The next day was meant to be another sauna and a swim before my haircut and getting the train home but I managed to leave my swimmers at the pond, so gutted. I managed to find the bikini top for sale on ebay and bought it right away, but had to replace the bottoms with some other bottoms - which are actually a better blue, it must be said. And those bottoms were starting to go a little white-thready, like when the elastic goes. But I hate losing things and so that was pretty annoying. I even joined the Facebook group for the pond and someone went to look in lost property for me, to no avail. Ah well. I hope they are off having amazing adventures on someone who really appreciates them.

I should note, here, that I did not need to replace them. I have too many swim items, I can't stop buying bikinis since they started to be more commonly available in my size. But - I repeat - I hate losing things. Even telling myself that I could have lost something more valuable - my phone, my headphones, my purse, my laptop - didn't make me feel better. 

What else has happened? I had lunch with Alex, back from Kazakhstan before starting a new job in China (new place to visit). I had dinner with my friend Vanessa. Mr Z and I celebrated 20 years of marriage by having his family over for ribs and cake. 

I've been working on the sleeves of the jumper I'm knitting, they are going slowly but they are going. Mr Z and I watched The Hawk on Netflix this week, which we enjoyed: I feel like Will Ferrell is a very safe pair of hands for comedy. I started watching The Five Star Weekend and I need to finish Euphoria, I have put it on my summer holiday list. 

I finished reading Dracula, I had forgotten how abrupt the ending was and so it left me a little HUH. I dived straight into Yesteryear which everyone seems to love but I just didn't. I like the premise but the story wasn't especially well-developed. I wonder if I don't really get on with books where every character is meant to be unlikeable, or whether I don't like books that have no redemption or happy ending, but it wasn't for me. I was left feeling like the author had a great idea for a book, and then the film studios got wind of it and made her write it how they wanted it to be - so it's the book of a series that hasn't yet been made, sort of thing. That would explain why it felt like it lacked depth. Happily, it only took me about three days to plough through it and I made a start on a library book, At First Light, that I will need to set aside from tomorrow because it is holiday time!

2026 Week 25

It's been a week of exam work, with a little dissertation work wedged in around the edges. Oh, and school, obvs. 

School is weird. What I'm doing looks like it's being successful, I'm told by my boss it's being successful, but the trust don't want me to continue doing it, so my role might change for next year. I'm trying to resist this, for a variety of reasons, but ultimately need to remember something I say often to other people: I work for them, they get to choose what I do. A few conversations have been had. In one of these conversations, I plucked up the courage to tell the Head that I think next year needs to be my last year in teaching for a while. I've been thinking it for so long without saying it that I could feel myself blushing and hear the blood in my ears. I know this isn't the same as resigning and I'll still be in role for another year, but I feel like I've started the countdown. I don't want to leave my school but I don't think I can continue to work for this MAT. I don't have it in my to lie down and shut up. 

So, a lot of the week has also been spent mentally calculating my living expenses and mourning the future loss of my monthly salary. I will be financially fine but I kind of like being paid every month, you know? I expect interesting projects will come along once I have capacity for them. Mr Z has also pointed out that I haven't been particularly happy at work for about two years, which I hadn't really noticed (I realise how stupid this sounds but sometimes it does take someone else to say these things out loud to recognise them). So I think I am ready to start letting it go. 

I spent Wednesday at the university for a training day, with my good friend Jonty who does my job at another school, so we get this nice catch up every year now. A couple of other friends I haven't seen for a while were there as well, so nice to see people, especially at this time of year when it feels like all my communication is with people I mark with and all by email or text. 

I went to the sauna, to hot yoga and for a quarry swim. No Sunday gym, I am out of the habit now but I am not being down on myself about it, it will come back when I've got through the dissertation work. We continued with the second season of The Pitt until we ran out of episodes; I've been watching the new series of Amandaland which is almost too awkward for me to cope with, but I love Lucy Punch in it. No knitting. Bit of Dracula reading. 

TLDR - not a very interesting week but it might turn out to be an important one, in the long run. 

2026 Week 24

It has been a predictably busy few weeks. 

In half term, I went to Oxford for the week. It was a very productive trip. First of all, I found a new library that I hadn't been into before; it turns out that it was only opened in October last year, which explains why I had never been in, even though it is under 10 minutes' walk from where I stay and open 9-9. I spent a very long day in there, as well as hitting All Souls and the Rad Cam, my two long-standing favourites; I ate at my favourite breakfast, lunch and dinner spots; I walked in University Parks. My Oxford swansong. I booked an additional night there just before dissertation hand in and also discovered I can get a Bodleian libraries card as an alumna, so the libraries won't be totally off-limits. I'm fairly sure I won't get back there nearly as often as I'd like to, though. 

The best thing about going to Oxford was the progress I managed to make on my dissertation. I have gone from it being a low-level panic that I thought of when I woke up every morning, to something that I am now confident I can finish on time in a state that will pass. I got about 7000 words down in the week and I finished my research interviews; since then, I have made some updates to my lit review and started coding my data, as they say. I was all in my head about coding my data for a long old time but then I realised that it just means reading it and picking out some things that look like common themes. Not such a big deal. I had an online meeting with my supervisor this week and it really does feel like the end if in sight; after doing some coding, with the meeting coming up a day earlier than expected, I decided I would sit for an hour and bash out some things I had spotted: that turned into a thousand words and a comment that 'this looks really good, now it's just a question of finding some quotes'. Thrilling. 

It is hard to carve out the time now that we are into marking season, but carve it out I will. The date for the end of All The Work is still the end of September, but as that draws closer, it is actually comforting. The period of endless hard work is shortening. Work is being done. It will be fine. 

A couple of other half term adventures included a walk around Chew Lake with Saff and Kate, on a blisteringly sunny day, and a visit to an exhibition of lesser-seen Elizabethan portraits during my quick trip to London. Plus the new Banksy statue. 

I wedged a lot in. It's what happens when I'm busy with work. On Friday night I got AI to teach me how to code a button on my homescreen that plays the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme tune whenever Mr Z says something about everything going wrong. It took longer than it should have done but I was thrilled with my new knowledge and with my new ability to soundtrack his life. We are into week 4 or 5 of impossibly hurty knee, so he is less thrilled than me. 

This past week has been setting up everything for exam marking, which necessitated a couple of 16-hour days, but it is becoming clearer to me that the more hours I can put in ahead of online marking starting (this weekend), the more fruits will appear. The way that the system works now, the bulk of my labour is done. That feels very odd to say that, but it is true. There is plenty more to do, of course, but it is spread out and deadlines are fairly moveable. 

I've been re-reading Dracula through all of this, which is easy to pick up for a few pages, mostly because I know it so well. I saw Cynthia Erivo playing Dracula in London during Oxford week. It was a great version where she played 23 different parts, interacting with pre-recorded characters she'd played, and I enjoyed it hugely. The one thing that irritated me was that she had a conversation with Lucy, early on in the play, where Lucy admitted to having been intimate with Arthur. I didn't remember this being in the book and it was so f'ing hackneyed, that awful old trope of 'woman has sex and then gets horribly murdered' that shows up in all the sexually-repressed American films, that I had to come back and reread the book to see if it was in there and I'd forgotten. It's not. There's a letter that Lucy writes to Mina where she says she is looking forward to Arthur being her 'husband and lover', but that's it. Now, I never read Dracula at school: I haven't done a deep dive into the themes and metaphors Stoker apparently put in there (I think he was just looking to write a blockbuster horror book like Mary Shelley but I'm not an English teacher so...) but I think it would be a stretch to suggest that Lucy was promiscuous just because she was proposed to three times in one day and was excited about marrying a man. 

As you can see, this topic has been living rent-free in my head for some time now. I just hate the inherent misogyny of the whole 'if you have sex, things will end badly for you' theme. For a modern example, see Taken: friend says she will have sex with Frenchman she met, friend kidnapped and ends up dying after being overdosed with heroin in a squat. Meanwhile, girl who was shocked at the idea of having sex is rescued. Tell me that's not barely-coded messaging to elicit patriarchal society's preferred behaviours among women, but I will not believe you. And I'm very annoyed that the writers of stage Dracula decided to take this quite modern trope and wedge it into a 19th century book. As if we need any more trad wife messaging*. 

Anyway. 

The blue jumper grows: I'm about 4 inches off finishing the body. I am concerned about the roll of the neck but I will take some steps to fix it when I'm finished and know how much yarn I have left. I shouldn't be spending any time knitting but I am desperate to see how much yarn the body will take and the only way to find that out is by knitting it. 

The peonies came out in the garden in spectacular fashion and have now gone over and been replaced by the honeysuckle. The cooler June has enabled outside sitting. I've enjoyed it. Maybe a separate post for the peony pictures because they were so lovely, I took loads. 

I've been baking this weekend, ahead of teacher appreciation day. I don't bake so often these days and I don't write about it on here, but I will say that I made a mint version of the lemon curd recipe I discovered over 15 years ago. I think I had in my mind that a lovely mint curd would be like a slightly less cloying version of the centre of a Fry's peppermint cream bar. I couldn't find a recipe I liked, so I halved the OG lemon curd recipe and blended a fair old bunch of mint leaves with the sugar before I made it. This definitely worked, but the result is more toothpaste that peppermint cream. I might try mixing in some icing sugar before I put it in a cake. 

* be a trad wife if you want to. I am here for it. Feminism is all about women, and men, choosing what they want. But within that, don't tell other people that it's the better way to be. That's up to them to decide. 

2026 Week 21

The best part of this week was undoubtedly waking at 5.20am on Saturday, thinking it was a work day, then doing my usual slow mental processing - have I taught that yet? have I had that meeting? - until I figured out it was all done and the week was over. And that meant the term was over too. And back to sleep I went. 

Actually, it's a bit harsh calling that the best moment when I managed to get Mr Z to go out to dinner with me and it's not even our wedding anniversary. Mr Z has been struggling with a swollen and painful knee; this week he actually went to the hospital, where they aspirated said knee and gave him a leg brace, so he can at least hobble around, but isn't able to drive again yet. Nevertheless, he accompanied me to local Bristol eatery Wilson's for a tasting menu, based on food produced on their farm 20 miles out of Bristol, that offered an accompanying non-alcoholic flight - what a treat for those of us who were driving. The whole meal was really special and even more so because they offered non-fish alternatives for Mr Z, on account of his aversion to creatures of the sea. Highly recommended. I'd love to go back in the autumn. 

So that was the best moment, then the realising it was Saturday, then the swim in the quarry on Saturday morning, my first since October. It was nearly 17 degrees and the sun came out just as I arrived. I had forgotten how much I enjoy being in the cold. It was a bit brisk for the first leg but, by the end, I didn't want to get out. My body retained that chill for a very pleasant half an hour after I left, which was most welcome in the heat. 

I went to Oxford for an evening on Thursday, which was a bit mental but I had a good time. There was a lecture about assessment and AI (which was excellent but turned out to be a bit depressing) and a few of my coursemates met, plus the first years were finishing up their fortnight so I got to meet a couple of them as well. One of them works for the same exam board as me, although she actually works for them in what sounds like quite a senior role, whereas I'm just a lowly contractor. It was good to have a brief chat with her, though. You never know when I might be applying for a job there. 

I made progress on my lit review. It is slow going but I think it is getting there now. I have to turn it in tomorrow night and need to keep reminding myself that the whole point is to get feedback on how to improve it, so it doesn't have to be perfect when I hand it in. 

I finished reading Is a River Alive? which was as good as I might have expected. It wasn't quite Underland levels of good but...well, maybe it was in places. It has sparked off a whole new idea for a scheme of learning, about colonialism and rivers in India. I was also bereft when it ended, which is the sure sign of a gripping book.

I put about 10 rows onto the new jumper: it's a bit warm now to be thinking about jumpers but it will be quick if I can make myself do it. Mr Z and I started season 2 of The Pitt. I cast around listlessly for something easy and quite to watch but found nothing, so there wasn't much more TV this week. No more audiobook, either. Brain is still a bit full. 

2026 Week 20

Another one of those weeks that I crashed through at speed, without really noticing. Exams began. Work was definitely done but I can't remember much of it. I continued to read Is A River Alive? and it saved my bacon a little on Friday. I added nothing to the knitting project but I did manage more of Anxious Generation and now only have an hour or so of listening left, and it also inspired me to an activity for school that was helpful so that was good. 

The reading I've been doing for the dissertation has begun to coalesce and I need to spend the greater part of today trying to get that into something that resembles an essay. I'm getting annoyed at myself now for just not settling to it. I have to turn something in (let's hope for 2000 words) after next weekend so I really need to avoid the tears of an eleventh hour grind but I am not confident in my ability to do so. I did finally bite the bullet and ask my 'book friends for help with interviews and they are going to come good so I will at least manage to get that part done this week, I hope. 

Enough of that - the best part of my week was undoubtedly going to Newcastle for the annual conference I go to. I flew because it was cheap and quick. There was some guilt, especially on the way back when I was the only person seated in the front four rows, but I did get the train to skiing in February so that can be my swap. Also I did see two rainbows from the plane on the way. 

The conference was good. I did my usual trick of spending basically the whole thing with the same two people but I really only see them at this event so I am not going to worry about that: I always feel I should be more sociable because I know so many people at the conference, but ultimately that's not what I prefer to do, so there it is. We stayed up much too late at the bar, for two nights this time, and we WON the history quiz! By half a point! Since we did a challenge over one point before we knew how close it was going to be, which was successful, I am not sure it was the fairest result, but we did win. Woohoo! I used to run this quiz with my friend Rich (pinnacle was 2023 when Mary Beard was on one of the teams) so it is pleasing to get to win it for once. 

The sessions were all really good. I realised that the one I was running was an hour, not the 50 minutes I had planned, hence my unplanned reading from my current book, but this went down well and has actually inspired me to a project for next conference. The problem with being a senior leader is that I don't do curriculum work and next year I won't be teaching anything new, so it is hard to generate something that other people might want to hear about and, although I'd love it, I can't just keep talking about assessment every time. But, as always seemed to happen, a few ideas from disparate sources came together and now I have an idea and have recruited a geography guru to help me with it, though when I am going to manage it is anybody's guess. 

Maybe my favourite thing was the walking tour and the wildlife, though. I heard at last week's bird talk that Newcastle is the furthest inland that kittiwakes nest and I can confirm that they basically own the city - at least the bit I saw. The workshops all took place in rooms overlooking the bridge and I was horribly distracted by the constant bird traffic, as they built nests and went out for food. They were noisy when I was able to get outside, too, and also digging up chunks of turf and soil to build said nests from the bank outside the hotel. I wouldn't have known a kittiwake from a regular gull last week, and my discussions with other people about them (basically anybody who would listen, I was obsessed) revealed that I am not alone in this, but I can report that they have black legs and black wingtips, and are not as large as you might expect a 'regular' gull (whatever that is) to be. I downloaded the Merlin app and it confirmed my sighting, though. 

Bit blurry because of the zoom but she had a great nesting site. 

So yes - I observed hundreds of kittiwakes, some little rabbits, a great tit living in a hole in a wall behind the big letter S. There was a Millennium Bridge tilt. We went to a library and I saw a picture of a Victorian spiritualist, surrounded by a garland that had reportedly been constructed for him by a spirit he contacted in a seance, I love this sort of thing, it is so of its time. I asked for a selfie with a stag dressed as Cher, at the behest of his friends. I sweet-talked the hotel reception into letting me use the sauna after the conference was over, even though I'd checked out: note to self, remove the metal earrings if it's going to be a hot one, I have blisters on my earlobes now, what an idiot. And at least two people came up to me to gush about how my work has helped them in some way, an experience I never cease to find astonishing and incredibly humbling. There are a few key reasons why I love this conference but enjoying my celebrity status* is probably on that list. 

One more week of school and then I am off to Oxford for a week and then it's term 6, which is basically not even a thing. Oh and all the marking. And another conference to present at. But it will be over quickly. I keep waking up and thinking about my dissertation but woke up this morning to the epiphany that the time will pass very quickly and it will be done, even if I don't enjoy it, so it's not really something to carry stress about. I enjoy a lot of my life. I don't have to enjoy all of it, all of the time. 

* it's preposterous to call it this but, in a very small community, not inaccurate. 

2026 Week 19

I have done much this week in pursuit of the life part of my miserable work-life balance. This has left me a little twitchy and feeling behind (so I'm writing this instead of moving on with any of my to-do list) but I have enjoyed it and find myself yearning for the future date - I've decided it's the end of September - when 'everything' is done and I can get through weekends without a crushing doom-like feeling of things left unfinished. 

I'm overstating it. It's not really that bad. It's just like a low-level unease. I had a conversation with the head this week, in which she asked how the dissertation was going, and then said that she'd handed hers in (she's been doing a part-time undergrad degree the entire time I've known her) and it had necessitated locking herself in her bedroom for 3 days and a lot of crying. This is a foreshadowing, I fear. Three days is optimistic for me, too, because mine is double the length. 

Anyway - I did manage to get a sense of how my lit review will look and I carried out another interview this week and have another tonight - just one more pair to find; I need to make a plan of what I will do each evening because, though I come to work on it every day, that work is pretty useless because I have not structured my plan. I have two more weeks and then a week in Oxford: I need to make that week as productive as possible, so some legwork needs to be done. 

Meanwhile, I'm trying to rework the presentation I gave with my colleague in April, for a conference next weekend; work on the coaching course I'm doing through school; and work on school things. The marking is ebbing, thankfully, as we are so close to the exams now, but the end isn't really in sight yet. I also need to figure out how I want marking season to go from June. Make a list, make a list, make a list!

(I paused here to make a list). 

So, what did I do in pursuit of life, amid this bin fire of work pressures?

The best thing was Friday night, when I went to London for one evening to hear Robert Macfarlane and Jackie Morris talk about their new book, The Book of Birds. I am such a fan of Macfarlane and I am also (as he might say) 'a bit birdy' so this was a real treat. I couldn't find that they were speaking anywhere else and, when I weighed up how I might feel about not seeing it compared to how I felt about the fuss and expense of going to London for the evening, there was no contest. And I have no regrets. The talk was accompanied by huge versions of Jackie's beautiful artwork of birds and included readings from the book itself. I find Macfarlane's writing to be so absorbing, it's like he's writing non-fiction in the style of fiction and his are consistently non-fiction I actually want to read in paper form, rather than as an audiobook, which is quite rare. The Book of Birds is a little different in that there are rhymes in it, so it is sort of like poetry and sort of like prose. I thought it went really well with the images. Their relationship is also delightful and I really enjoyed their banter. 

I went along with my friend B, who's been my friend since the OG exam board job in 1999, who I love catching up with, who I never see quite often enough. We went for Japanese food first and nearly chatted our way past the start of the talk. He was less inspired by the readings but enjoyed the talk. I'm also pretty certain I saw Mel Giedroyc as I was exiting the bathroom. I did that awful thing of seeing her, double taking, realising it probably was who I thought it was, deciding I wouldn't ask, then realising I was pretty much blocking her entrance to said bathroom during this whole thought process and awkwardly scuttling out of the way. I expect she gets a lot of that. 

I had to run for the train home but it was 2 hours from the Royal Geographical Society, where the talk was, to my own front door, which was pretty pleasing. I once went to a lecture with B when I got the coach to London and back for one evening, which was possible because it was in the holidays and cost under a tenner, but was a long, long time to spend on a coach. I'm richer in money and poorer in time, now. We've decided we're going to go to Ham House to see if there might be some ham in it, in July, when I go to get my hair cut. The summer hair cut days are shaping up nicely - Ham House, Hampstead Heath bathing pond, Schiaparelli exhibition. I just need one more thing to do. 

As well as this adventure, I have been devouring Macfarlane's Is a River Alive? which I have been flirting with for a number of months now, but have reached the halfway point of. I watched all of the episodes of Rooster and Euphoria - Euphoria as bleak as before and I'm annoyed with myself for starting it before it is all out, but I had watched so many clips on Facebook that I was in danger of ruining it. I recorded Wuthering Heights to watch but I am putting it off because the length of time for a film feels like a bit commitment. 

No audiobook progress because my brain needs some time when it can navel-gaze. I also sacked off yoga and did not manage to motivate myself into the gym on BH Monday, but I did get to the sauna on Tuesday. I keep looking at my late spring list and trying to work out when I can squeeze in two hot yoga visits; I definitely can't. But I will keep trying. 

I have divided for the arms on my latest knitting project and wound some more yarn. The first ball of yarn got me to half a row before the armhole division so I am feeling quite confident that I will have enough for the whole jumper. It's the most amazing, saturated blue and I can't believe that it's not rubbing away on my hands - what an excellent dye job. 

2026 Week 18

There isn't a great deal to say about this past week. It's bank holiday weekend and I'm trying to work on my dissertation but not being very focused. I have, at least, managed to set up a few more interviews so that is one less thing to do - by next Sunday I should have 9 in the bag, of a target of 10-15, so I am close to completing that part of the research. You know, the actual research part of it. 

We finished watching season 1 of The Pitt but don't really want to start season 2 until more episodes are released. I liked it but I felt there were some quite big holes in the plot, or rather, circles that were never completed. I also finished reading The Last Song of Penelope which was very satisfying, I loved the trilogy. I didn't touch my knitting all week but went to group yesterday and cast on for an Isabell Kramer pattern in some 2019 Wonderwool DK; I started something in it last weekend but decided the neckline was going to be way too wide so I went through the Kramer archive because her necklines are always so cleverly constructed. 

I am feeling like this might be my actual favourite time of year. I find it impossible to choose, but this very narrow window of May, when the blossom is ending but everything green is just like HELLOOOOOO and all plant life just seems swollen with brand new freshness, it's so lovely. Both our peony plants look like they're going to flower the year, for the first time ever - I think I planted them in 2021 so it has been a minute. The healthier of the two shot up to fence height in a matter of days; the other one, which began life in a pot and was then planted in the most barren bit of ground in the garden, has been pretty quick too. 

Just to add to my middle-aged stereotype, I've also been having a clear out. I decided to put 'donate 100 items' on my termly to-do list so that involves going through things like my underwear drawer, where there are rich pickings shoved to the back. Socks count as two if they're a pair (my game, my rules) and I also found nine odd socks that are never going to be reunited with their sole mates. I'm going to cut some of them up to be board rubbers. 

I did say that there wasn't much to say about this week. 

2026 Week 17

I was really on the struggle bus with work this past week. I did not want to be there, an issue exacerbated by the fact that BOTH events that would have seen me elsewhere for one day were cancelled. I suppose this made things easier, at least the second, Birmingham-based one but...hrmph. I have decided the grump was due to being tired from a week in Iceland and it being my much less preferred timetable week...but it might be the last time I have to teach it through, since the next one will have a bank holiday in it and the next one will be well into exam season. 

I realised, when I put my out-of-office on for the course I'm at tomorrow (allegedly), that I must not have missed a day of school since before Feb half term. A record! Although maybe this is also why I'm somewhat over it. 

Hobbies continued. I half-heartedly picked away at the Latvian mitten I am reknitting since it was working up too tight. Now I am slightly concerned it will be too loose but, meh. We'll see. I wound a gorgeous blue skein over the weekend to start another jumper but then lost confidence in my planned modification almost immediately after cast on, I think it would end up being much too wide in the neck, so I have stopped again. Mr Z and I continued watching The Pitt; I've nearly finished The Song of Penelope; I'm two-thirds of the way through Anxious Generation. I went to the sauna, yoga, a PT session and the gym twice. 

This weekend has been glorious Wonderwool - and it really was glorious, possibly the best weather we've ever had. The halls were actually a little bit too warm on Saturday afternoon, when I arrived. I committed heresy on Saturday morning by driving to Powis Castle for a visit first. Clive features heavily in the A-level course I teach and I have been very keen to go, but it is three hours' drive from here and I just don't think Ginge would put up with it. 

Powis was indeed beautiful but I was gutted to discover that the Clive museum was closed for essential works. No mention of this on the website. I made do with touring the rest of the house, but the vibe is very much, 'We've had to give you our house but we are very unhappy about it so will seriously limit your access' (see also: St Michael's Mount) and so everything was dark and difficult to access. Not really a problem, I enjoyed it a lot anyway. I will have to repeat visit, thanks to not being able to get into the Clive section yesterday. There's not much mention of the man himself around the rest of the place, even the portraits of his parents aren't labelled (I had to ask), but there was this statue, connected to him:

This is a 1st century Roman statue of a cat, apparently very rare because cats aren't often featured in Roman art. Clive bought this as a gift for his wife in the year that he died. I've been having fun imagining the subtext to this as a gift. Was he just trying to find the rarest and most expensive present he could? Heaven knows he could afford it. But I feel like there's a slight air of 'you're emasculating me'. 

Separate Wonderwool post to follow, with the goodies. I was very restrained this year. I gave far more to the Air Ambulance stall than I bought and I didn't buy anything at all on Saturday, very unusual for me. In the end, though, there were a few bits I just couldn't pass by. 

2026 Week 16

And what a week it has been! I went to Iceland on a school trip, that most glorious type of trip: one that I was not in charge of. I spent my time 'bringing up the rear' which was my official job role every day. We went to waterfalls, beaches, extinct volcanoes, lakes, hot springs and a glacier. I made a snow angel, walked behind a waterfall, chased rainbows, inspected (and bought) yarn, admired jumpers, marvelled at geological features and took dozens of selfies. 

I even managed some hobbies. I finished the purple jumper I'd been knitting for this trip, so I did get a day's worth of wear out of it. It needs blocking as it is a little short on me: I added 5 extra rows but didn't want to run out of yarn, which seems to have been the correct choice. 

I started reading The Last Song of Penelope, the third in the trilogy from Claire North. I wouldn't normally read a follow up novel so quickly after the first, I tend to absorb too much of the writer's voice and it makes it come out in my own writing or speech, like a mimic, but I couldn't resist. The House of Odysseus has stayed with me, there was some cracking writing in that, but this one has got me right in the feels several times so far. I'm about halfway through. I carried on a little with the two audiobooks but this really needs to be a school commute thing, I think, and at the moment I am obsessively listening to Tame Impala's Dracula and a few other recent musics so I don't want to put an audiobook on.

Mr Z and I have been watching the first season of The Pitt. Nice to see Noah Wyle back as a doctor and it's different enough that I don't get Carter vibes. I see Euphoria is back for its third season; I am in two minds whether to watch it. I keep seeing people arguing online that it is shocking because 'that's what addiction looks like' but I'm not sure addiction looks as glamorous as it's made out to be. I think addiction looks more like groping in a toilet bowl, a la Trainspotting. But then, I guess I wouldn't know.

I forgot to say last weekend that I binged the whole of The Other Bennet Sister in the days in between trips. Very, very enjoyable. I loved the nods to the BBC's P&P - trying to blow out the candle in front of the mirror, having Hill played by Lucy Briers, who was Mary in the 1995 adaptation. Also the quite modern additions, like the terrible bird drawings, the stretching. I was so impressed that Mary's marital fate kept me guessing right up until the final reveal. Really artfully done. 

A couple of Iceland pictures to finish up:

I wore only dresses for the entire trip (with ski bibs over the top for the waterfall) because that is the sort of energy I bring these days. If Wordsworth's sister could climb Scafell Peak in a dress, I can definitely stroll down a path to a waterfall and climb up a volcano. 

2026 Week 15

Welp, it's been the last week of term and the first week of the Easter break since I last managed to get a post up, so a fair amount of stuff has gone on. 

I limped through the end of term, much marking, some scheming, general end of term vibe where you are proverbially shaking the printer cartridge to eke out the very last sprinkling of toner. On Thursday night, I flew to Mallorca, where I repaired to a little hotel near the airport for the night, before collecting my rental car and heading on to the family villa on Friday morning. Our first family holiday since the IoW caravan in 1992. 

Mallorca was nice. Beaches, lunches, rock-pooling, a chef we hired to come one night and then invited back another night to do Argentinian barbecue, a heated pool with the kids, crafting, lots of cats. The odd squabble, obviously. I don't envy Sib his marriage. It was a lot of fun to spend the time with the niblings, though. I very much appreciate that feeling of being owned by a child, in the way that they climb on you and sit on your lap and press their face against yours and it's all just so normal. Very fun.

I returned from Mallorca on Monday evening, had one day at home and then headed to Sheffield for a geography conference, where I was speaking alongside the Head of Geog from school. We've done a little cross-curricular project together so that I could convince her to go to the conference and speak, she is very good but doesn't really appreciate how good she is. One of the exam board guys was there that I usually see every year at my own subject equivalent conference, so we had a good catch up and went to a very interesting session together; I was interested to note that (1) this conference seemed a lot more activist than my subject equivalent and (b) a lot of the issues are ones that might easily be solved if subject teams talked to each other a little more. I chose to stay in a lovely spa hotel I've stayed in before, so I got a couple of sessions in in the steam room and a swim or two. I ate exceptionally delicious Korean fried chicken two nights in a row. It was quite restorative. 

Though, I do feel the press of the dissertation at my back. I don't think I'm going to be able to get the first draft done for July in the way I want to. I am setting a challenge for myself to work on it for an hour every day over the next term, but, given that it's currently 'dissertation accountability hour' and I'm writing this instead, I am not sure if the self-discipline necessary to achieve that is going to present itself. We'll see. 

Some hobbies happened, as a result of the leisure. I finished Claire North's House of Odysseus, listened to a bit more of The Anxious Generation and started a new audiobook, The Human Planet, which is very engaging. I'm also ploughing through a bit more of Is A River Alive? so my brain is crammed full of lots of other people's words at the moment. 

I went to see Underland at the Watershed on Tuesday night: Underland might be my favourite book ever (definitely top 5) but I'd heard the film was more of a spin-off, so wasn't quite sure what to expect. It was indeed very different, focusing on three people who work underground, in Mexico, America and Canada. I was totally unprepared for the first scenes to be in Vegas. I still find scenes from Vegas make me a little sad, since Father Hand passed away. But it was a very good documentary, very moving in unexpected ways. It seemed that each person was dealing with a different temporality - Mexico past, searching for Mayan remains; Vegas present, looking at the way people live in the storm drains and what they leave behind; Canada future, working in a deep mine, looking for dark matter. It was very well put together. 

Anything else? Hmm. I am onto the sleeves of my latest knit; I hoped to finish it for Iceland but, since Iceland is now under 24 hours away, that seems ambitious. I'm off there at 6.30 tomorrow morning for a school trip. It is a holiday of trips and extremes of temperature: I managed to get a reasonable tan in Mallorca, where the temperature hovered around 20 degrees, but I fear that might all be sloughed away by the windy and wet conditions predicted at my next destination. It will be worth it, though. So excited to get eyes on Iceland again. 

2026 Week 13

If I had to sum up this week with a gesture, it would be a gentle shrug and sideways look. It's definitely close to the end of term - lots of the country broke up on Friday for Easter, but we have another week - and I have been somewhat in retreat, possibly because of my weekend of intense nerding, which did not set me up for a well-rested and active week. Plus it was my busy work week. I really do not like this timetable week. Only (I think) two more of them and then the exam classes will drop off. 

I continued to read the House of Odysseus, a bit; listen to The Anxious Generation, a bit; knit the purple jumper, a bit. I saw a coursemate from Oxford who has just moved into a flat up the road from school, was interviewed by another coursemate for her research, and had a meeting with my supervisor, so it felt like quite an Oxfordy week. A pity there was not more Oxfordy work, I really need to get into some discipline on that and very soon. 

I went to the trendy glasses shops on Park Street, intending to get some huge and chunky new frames, but in the end I left without ordering; I don't wear my glasses much these days, having eased myself back into contact lenses that I use with reading glasses at work. I probably need to dip my toe into the world of varifocals but it seems like a lot of hassle. I keep thinking I should look at laser eye surgery...as if that would be less hassle. 

Some nice things: I finished the course with my A-level students, this is the earliest I have ever managed it. The older and slightly simple gentleman who I often see sitting at the bus stop near school, but have not seen for many months, was back in situ on Friday when I nipped out for my Friday coffee treat and we had a little catch up. All my royalties arrived for the second half of the financial year. I had a bit of a wardrobe clear out so almost everything fits in the wardrobe now. I made packing lists for April - I'm going on four trips, all to very different locations and for very different purposes, so it is wise to be well-planned in advance. 

Roll on the first of those trips, starting this Thursday night. Woo. 

2026 Week 12

It was only a four-day work week this week; we had Friday as a twilight inset day in respect of Eid, so I went to Oxford on Thursday night to wrestle with the dissertation. This was a very wise decision and I managed to make a great deal of progress, not necessarily on the writing but certainly on the planning, reading, getting to grips with qualitative research and generally beginning to feel like this is going to be achievable. I got up early enough on both days to get my very favourite Rad Cam seat, which is in a very sunny morning spot, keeping me warm and cheerful. I had intended to study in the education library on Saturday but then discovered it was closed; so I visited there later on Friday afternoon to beg a renewal of a book and view the famous magnolia that was the inspiration for the department logo. 

I bumped into a friend form the history teaching world while I was there, always a pleasure. I had dinner in college on Friday night and with a course friend, Lin, on Saturday - we went to the Perch, on the other side of Port Meadow, which was in flood and full of horses during the beautiful sunset, as we walked over there. The way back was a much darker story, we had to do some deft manoeuvring out of the paths of some horses and one tall specimen was stood resolutely in front of the foot gate so we had to climb over the big gate to get out. I think he might have been the same one hanging his head over the fence in the hopes of stealing someone's chips as we'd come in. 

Anyway. It was lovely to catch up with Lin. She lives in Singapore but is doing a PhD (or DPhil as Oxford prefer it) and is back in Oxford for this term as she needed to resubmit her research plan. We had a good chat. She helped me think about some work things. I had a tough meeting with the head on Thursday and I need to undertake a support plan. The trust suggest (apparently) that this is because I am too nice: I am not holding people accountable when they don't do what I tell them to do. I have felt a bit meh about this since the meeting because I don't want to be that person that is running around putting everyone else on support plans and making them feel grim. But Lin pointed out that I can hold more of a critical friend perspective. Not at all a bad idea. I just need to work out how to do it. 

Thinking again, of course, about just quitting. Maybe this is my sign. Another sign. I don't mind the support plan as it confirms my suspicion that I'm not very good at this job (yet). It also proves that I really can't do all the things at once and do them well. But I'd rather go out on a high. And I have got a ski trip to run next year. 

So, I managed to cram quite a lot into the four-day week. I ran a second round of MSc interviews, attended an interview about a certain infamous Bristolian whose statue is now missing for some UoB students who are making a documentary, went to an evening history lecture and saw some ex-students (lovely), ran a long afternoon webinar about assessment while a colleague delivered the training I'd planned for my own staff, rushed to Oxford for the evening coaching call even though I hadn't managed to do the work. Went to the sauna. Went to the gym but then left because I hadn't packed a t-shirt....I am definitely not hitting my gym goal this month but I am not really minding. Last Sunday I had the embarrassment of missing the bracket when I tried to rerack my weight at the end of the third set of bench press, when I had absolutely nothing left to force the weight back up, so I had to call on a young man for help. The shame. This is what I get for feeling smug when the man at yoga offered me a strap I didn't need. This small incident at the gym left my shoulder an neck feeling quite pulled for the week but that did mysteriously clear almost as soon as I'd finished my Thursday webinar, so perhaps there was some stress in there as well.

I've been getting on with knitting the new purple jumper, which is going fast. I finished watching Lord of the Flies: I loved the 70s cinematography. I finished reading my Alanna books and finally picked up some real books, Robert MacFarlane's Is A River Alive? and back to Claire North's House of Odysseus, which I tried and failed to get through last year but which is flowing much better now, although of course I can no longer remember the finer points of the relationships between all the characters. 

I've booked a ticket to see Robert MacFarlane speak in London in May. It's fantastically indulgent because I will just go to London for one evening. But he's written a new book about birds and I just couldn't resist. 

2026 Week 11

Well, I guess I didn't get round to coming back last week. Last weekend I had quite significant work to do for both my exam jobs and I was also trying to plan a two hour online workshop I'm delivering this Thursday - it has taken waaaaaaay longer than it should have done and is still not finished, but I am hoping I will be invited back to deliver it again, in which case, the work will already have been done. I squeezed in a trip to knitting group, a walk into Waterstones to collect the new Penguin Monarchs Henry VII which is FINALLY OUT (eight years after I bought its other Tudor companions) and a quick gym visit, but other than that was fairly tied to the computer. 

Like I said, I enjoyed it. I enjoy all of those things. But this week has been one of constant reaching for the weekend and yesterday I spent two hours dozing in the sun on the sofa and reading a teen fiction and it was very much needed. I'm glad that I seem to have reached a place of better understanding about my limits so I can be a bit kinder to myself and not wonder why I'm unable to continue working effectively later on in the day, but I wish I could reach a better understanding of how much I am capable of doing. I call it playing the long game, because all of the extras will be continue to be the paid employment I need when (if) I ever give up my main job, but...is it really the long game if I'm never going to do that, I wonder. 

I have been toying with the idea of telling my boss in September that it will be my last year, but also have it in the back of my mind that I won't have a degree to do alongside work next year and it might therefore be better. So, we will see. 

Reading. I bought the new Henry VII book, as above, plus a newish Robert McFarlane about rivers; then I went to the library and brought home two new novels from there. So, naturally, all week I have been reading the Alanna/Lioness Rampant series that I first read as a teenager. They are so easy to work through that I can manage it even after a very long work day but I do struggle to stop, eg on Sunday I stayed up past midnight finishing the 4th one (which I read first...don't at me), which action probably also holds some responsibility for the kink in my week. I do like the series but, as I get older, I find the extremely concertinaed timeline of the later books more problematic ('She's never come to terms with it,' says Alanna's servant, a mere 4 weeks after the seismic event upon which the entire series turns...I am still digesting things I ate 4 weeks ago). I also fear Ms Pierce might be a white supremacist. I am afraid to Google her, in case she is depicted at a fascist rally. The baddies in this series are almost all 'swarthy' or 'dark-skinned' while the whiteness of the goodies' skin is remarked upon often, and I never noticed it as a child. Perhaps she didn't either. Context of the time and all that. 

Watching. Having finished Under Salt Marsh, I was casting around for something equally engaging to watch and came across Task, which I powered through this week. I like an-episode-a-night but, when something is as good as Task, I get nostalgic for the bygone years of one episode a week. There's something in the wait, where you digest and turn over the episode in your mind while waiting for the next one, that enriches the whole experience. I can just barely amass the will-power to stick to one episode a night but do not have it in me to put it off for a week. 

Anyway. Task was one of those rare American dramas where the obvious clues that I always think are so obvious they're red herrings actually ARE red herrings, and the storyline is so complex that I have to spend some time thinking about how it all fits together (hence missing the wait) because it's not all laid out for me. Very definitely NOT two-screen TV and I had to rewind a few times when I forgot this and picked up my phone. Hence, very enjoyable. I very much appreciated that there was no clear good guy/bad guy line and that all the characters seemed to reside on both sides; that there was heavy, series finale energy in episode 6 but episode 7 brought more than just loose-end tying; that the sub-plot was really the main plot; that Martha Plimpton was in it, I LOVE her (all of the acting was superb, Mark Ruffalo especially, but I don't feel like Martha is in enough things so it was a real treat); and the birds. The scenery! I could have coped with a couple of the episodes being a minute longer if there had been bird-watching in that extra minute. This was a theme I felt was a bit under-developed, as a huge fan of birds. 

Knitting. I finished the watermelon cowl, I had it in mind to do a separate post about that, maybe I will. I started knitting a new version of this jumper in the purple yarn I bought at Wonderwool in 2017 - the watermelon gradient was also from 2017, coincidentally. Once it's used up, I will just be left with the cake from Pook and some linen I took out of Jenny's destash left to knit, from the 2017 haul. I might put Jenny's destash into my destash for this Wonderwool. I didn't realise it but I bought something very similar in 2024 and knitted that tank top out of it last summer. 

The new jumper is going quite well, I went up a needle size from the 2013 version because I've never been completely happy with how the neck lies on the original and I'd like a boxier fit; but this may turn out to be a huge mistake because the point of knitting this one in particular is because I can get a whole jumper out of 4 skeins of DK and I may not be able to do that on a bigger needle. BUT I had to significantly lengthen the original sweater so it wasn't midriff-exposing, suggesting my row gauge was off, so maybe it will work out. Otherwise it's going to be a midriff-exposing sweater, good for wearing over dresses. 

I've found it hard to get back to the gym in the same routine I was pre-skiing, maybe because I'm not preparing for skiing anymore, so I have only been once since half term (I'll be going again shortly), but I have found a Hotpod Yoga class I like. I am one the fence about the pod itself, it's a very noisy tent with all the blowers going and the ceiling is quite low; but I came along to a nurturing flow last week and liked it so much I rebooked for this week. It's a bit annoying that it's only 45 minutes but priced the same as an hour class, and I have to add nearly a fiver onto that for parking, but it was a very comforting and coddling way to end the week. Last week we were told we'd need a strap but, when it came to it, I did not need a strap as I can reach my toes in pretty much any forward-bending position (I think this is because I have a long body and short legs but my PT insists I have unusually flexible hamstrings so it's probably a bit of both, right?) The man next to me tried to give me his strap and I had to tell him I didn't need it, which was gratifying. 

A new hot yoga place has opened up the hill from work, where parking is not guaranteed but is free. I might check it out. I do still sorely miss bikram. 

2026 Week 10

It's been a very worky weekend, but I have enjoyed it.  

It hasn't left much time for blogging, though. Hopefully I will come back and update - my knitting progress, my new books, my TV watching and my return to hot yoga. 

2026 Week 9

"A whole week of holiday! It has felt longer than a week. We crammed a lot in."

Above is the single line I found of my update for Week 8 when I came back to blog today. Clearly got distracted, so I will make this as quick as I can. 

A busy work week, leading inset day on Monday and then some more training after school on Thursday, so the whole week was one of feeling tense and on the back foot. I was also, at least for the first two nights, absolutely exhausted, going to bed at 9.30 on Monday night, unable to keep my eyes open, and not much later on Tuesday, having fallen asleep on the sofa. I did give blood on Monday night which, combined with a busy half term and aforementioned tension, probably created the perfect narcoleptic storm, but it was not at all useful for getting All The Things done for work. Still. I muddled through. 

I got to leave at breaktime on Friday and fly to Edinburgh to see Jen and the fam for the first time in over three years: a horrifying amount of time has passed and her oldest is now nearly learning to drive. I feel like I think about my age and aging more than is normal but this really makes me appalled about how much time has passed. 

Anyway. It was a mess up by easyJet that had me out of school so early, they apparently changed my flight time from 5.40pm to 1.40pm, though the original flight still seemed to be operating so I am a bit annoyed about that, they clearly resold my original ticket for more money. Luckily I didn't have to miss any lessons so I was in the pub with Jen by 3.30. A very pleasing start to the weekend. 

On Saturday, we went for a chilly walk around South Queensferry (very bourgie, I can definitely see a yarn shop doing well there) and then went to see Here and Now, the Steps musical, in the evening. It was really, really Steps, in every way you might imagine. Loads of fun and all the hits, plus a mega mix at the end that got the whole balcony moving, an experience I haven't felt since Rocky Horror. 

Today, we went for a wander to the Scottish version of The Wave, a huge surfing complex that has opened in the quarry just behind Jen's house. And then I flew home. I decided to shell out for easyJet Plus membership when I realised I had seven flights booked with them: adding hand luggage and booking a seat on all of them cost more than the cost of membership, without considering any of the other benefits, so I went for it. This got me through fast track security at Edinburgh, so I was at my gate roughly 10 minutes after being dropped off. I know everyone hates the speedy boarders but I can't be sorry about it. 

I've been ploughing through The Raven's Head by Karen Maitland, suitably creepy; and I got through all of Under Salt Marsh. I was very put out when I got to the end of episode 5 on Thursday and realised there was another one to be released, I had to wait until today to watch it, but it was worth the wait. I enjoyed it a lot. 

I've been trying to finish the watermelon brioche cowl that I started knitting ages ago but it is just not very compelling. I need to have something fun and easy to knit next, a DK jumper or something that I can knit without looking at and will feel the need to complete before the Iceland trip in April. 

Spent much of the evening plotting a little trip to the German Christmas markets. I am getting the holidays stacked up this year, dreaming of life after the Masters. 

2026 Week 7

A little late but I am on holiday, let me off. 

The last week of term flew by in a predictably swift way. I managed to power through quite a lot of marking, peaking on Wednesday, when I finished marking my Y13 mocks in time to give them back before the end of term. This was an utter triumph but marked the end of my productivity on this front, which is why I was marking GCSE mocks on the train from Paris to Oulx on Sunday. On Thursday, I allowed myself a swift stomp down to Farro as I was just staring at the wall, intellectually paralysed; happily, their blood orange and chocolate Danish, combined with the walk, managed to kick me into some sort of working mood so I did get some things planned. I'd be happier if I'd got more done but, then, wouldn't that just mean I would have thought of other things that needed doing?

Not much happened by way of leisure. I went to the gym, to yoga and to see my PT, but I skipped the sauna as I was meant to be giving blood, which in the end I had to postpone, on account of having had a bit of a cold the previous week. Annoying. 

I ordered a new ski boot bag and spent two evenings lovingly rearranging things within it. Packing for skiing was harder than usual, I was just very unsure about what I would need, and being on the train meant I didn't have to limit myself, so naturally I overpacked. 

I was verily glued to the Winter Olympics on the TV, enjoying a lot of things but particularly the snowboard cross and the figure skating. I might be the only person in the world who doesn't like Ilia Mallinin. Reading-wise, I pulled out two teen novels that are such easy reads - The Fortunate Few by Tim Kennemore and Lioness Rampant by Tamora Pierce, reading both in the space of a week because I know them both extremely well. It's comforting to go back to old favourites. It must nearly be time for the The Dark Is Rising reread. 

On Saturday, Rachael and I started our journey to skiing. We spent Saturday afternoon wandering around Paris and had a nice dinner that involved French onion soup (a must for me). On Sunday, we hung out at Gare de Lyon most of the day as their left luggage was taking only cash and, even then, only coins...who has 25 euros in coins, I had to wonder. There was an incident with a rude man but I will write separately about that as I wrote the story down on my phone immediately afterwards, for blogging purposes. 

Our onward journey to Oulx was slightly marred by the fact that our seats had been taken by some schoolchildren and we were escorted to what seemed, to me, to be very inferior seats; but then, it was probably better than being in the middle of a carriage of schoolchildren. That carriage smelled pretty awful when we went to retrieve our luggage, 5 hours later. 

We were also delayed and missed the last bus to our accommodation and, it turned out, Italy doesn't really do taxis in its ski resorts on a Sunday night. After half an hour of ringing every number I could find, one of the pre-booked drivers took pity on us and ran us up the mountain, thankfully. Just as we arrived, it started to snow, and it hasn't really stopped until this afternoon. Dreamy. 

More ski news in next week's update. 

2026 Week 6

I emerged from goblin mode this week and had quite a pleasant one, all things considered. Work feels manageable; I said to Becky at the start of the week that I thought I might be able to finish my to-do list this week and it very nearly happened. I was able to advance some work projects that were irking me, too, so they're not done but at least they're in progress. I worked away on my new exam board job for probably far more hours than would be covered by the fee (note to self: set a timer next time) and managed to submit a little early. No dissertation work happened but I had a good conversation with other teacher friends today about it and it has made me feel more positive and eager to move forward with it. 

I was sharing a car with said teacher friends on a return trip to London for a history conference on Saturday. I've not been to this one before because, really, it's not so useful for me to go to history conferences these days, due to my changed job role. But I have been to so many over the years that, when I don't go, I realise I miss out on the social aspect of being embedded in my subject community. It really felt like I knew half of the people there today, many of whom I had not seen for a number of years, and I was able to make some introductions that I hope will be helpful for a friend trying to get a job in a new area. Plus they had a great historian to speak and I enjoyed that a lot. Only one bad workshop. Another from one of the people who interviewed me when I went for that job at the big O in 2020, that was quite good. Interesting to see the inside of another school. The post-conference pub visit and the road trip might have been the best bit though.

I continued with all the usual self-care things - three gym trips, yoga, PT session, sauna. I listlessly knitted on the watermelon cowl, I'm not really into it for some reason. I didn't really read as I was up too late doing my new exam job to do much reading afterwards. I've been watching a lot of winter Olympics lead up stuff on the new winter sports channel that has appeared. Love the winter Olympics. I can't decide how I feel about Lindsey Vonn doing her ACL but skiing in the downhill anyway, though. I really want to be supportive and think she is a hero...well, she is a hero...but I am nervous for her. It's not just about never skiing again, supposing she can't walk again? I don't know. But I have been doing her ski workouts that I nick from the gram and they are good, I know she is in peak physical condition. 

Writing this on Saturday night for posting on Sunday and it's occurred to me that, by this time tomorrow, she will have competed so I can come back with my verdict. 

....well. That did not end well. Never good when you can hear the screaming from the drone footage. 

2026 Week 5

Quite a goblin week this week. I didn't really watch much, knit much or read much. I even cried off knitting yesterday morning. 

I spent much of the week being really annoyed but I wasn't really sure why. I feel like I have too many things to do and I feel creeping dread about getting my dissertation done, it feels as though I have very little time left to do it. I don't really know why; the deadline is not that close. I can't progress my project until I get the go-ahead from work, though, so maybe that's it. So I keep thinking I should change back to my original topic which won't really require any permission. 

Yeah, it's making a bit more sense why I've been in a poor mood for most of the week. 

I did all the self-care things. Monday, gym; Tuesday, sauna; Wednesday, yoga; Thursday, PT; Friday, hot yoga. Baths and early nights. Nice pyjamas. I tried exceptionally hard to eat sensibly. I only had one coffee all week. I kept reminding myself that it is almost thinking about getting light when I leave for work in the mornings now. But, to no avail. Sometimes I think you just have to accept the slump. On Thursday night, I decided I would not sit at my computer, messing around online while feeling bad about not doing the stack of marking I brought home, but would instead sit at my computer and fight my work inbox for an hour. This was very successful. It resulted in a much happier Friday and a much calmer weekend, mainly because I know there aren't a dozen things lurking that I haven't quite done. Maybe that was also the creeping dread. 

I spent a big chunk of Saturday working on my new exam board job. It took me most of the day to get started, predictably, because I wasn't totally sure what to do, but once I got started - yes. This is the exam board job for me. Spotting typos. Grammar pedantry. Considering whether a specific word really insinuates what we want it to. I looked up and it was 11.30pm. 

The only other thing of note this week was that I met a politician at school. He is quite famous. I'm not writing the name because he's also quite divisive. He was a local MP until 2024 and has a reputation for being Victorian and lying on benches. One of our pol teachers wrote to lots of local politicians, inviting them in, and he was the only one who replied, so then we had to have him in, even though our students (and staff) made a half-hearted protest against it. As I imagined he would be, he was scrupulously polite, extremely measured and put across his point of view very well. It was interesting to watch him blow our students' minds a little every time he said something they agreed with. There were some really quite significant holes in his arguments, and I was left a little sad that our lot aren't quite up to pushing back on some of these, but tbf, we did tell them to stay respectful and not bring the school into disrepute, so that might be partly our fault. 

He said at the beginning that, if you want to test if you believe in free speech, you have to listen to people you don't agree with, and I think we can all say we did that. I'm mainly relieved that he didn't use the visit to announce he was moving even further right and joining that other party. I would have thought he would have been above it, as they don't really seem to have any ideology other than, 'Go away', but apparently he is considering it.