The Bikram Diaries: 9

You might be forgiven for thinking I'd jacked in the sweaty yoga, since I haven't blogged about it since last December. Well, we're all on a journey, aren't we? My journey has not involved masses of visits to the bikram studio this year, but there have still been some. Nineteen, to be precise, so I will aim to get to 25 by year's end. I am managing once a week now that I have figured out Monday is always a better day to go than Tuesday, on account of Tuesday being a lighter work day every week. I did go on Tuesday this week, though. Managing my workload slightly better this week.

As I commented to the very keen lady who recently completed a 30 day challenge tonight, the only problem with only coming once a week is that progress seems to be non-existent. I grope for my foot in standing head to knee and standing bow, and it never feels like it is getting any closer. I lean back in camel, but my back bend is no deeper. I tilt my pelvis and think fondly of gravity, trying to lower my bum actually onto my heels, in half tortoise, but there is still at least a finger's width of air between them.

I had a very busy day today (my Fitbit congratulated me on reaching my best-ever score of 50 floors climbed today, which explains why I am so tired) and as soon as I got into class my mind just exploded, like I had been ignoring it all day. So I wasn't fully in there. But having said that, a little progress tonight: I did manage to catch my left foot very briefly in standing bow, but only briefly, and then I hurt my shoulder and had to be a bit careful for the rest of class.

Laura came over to help me with the lying down bow pose too, and even though she retreated the first time (probably in horror at the enormous crack my hip made as she attempted to lift my foot for me), when she came back in the savasana and tried again, I was successful. It was a joyful moment that has not occurred for going on 18 months and I wanted to remain in that pose for the rest of class.

I also have to take my wins elsewhere. I can now get through an entire class without drinking and without wiping my face. Small steps. My self-control is improving, even if my muscles are not.

Another little positive: I have lost 10lbs since starting the new job, purely through the additional walking (it must be, because I still eat too much cake). I only know this because the number on the scale has changed: I don't notice the difference in the mirror. But I did tonight, as I gurned through another set of Awkward pose, posed like a duck and sucking in my stomach. It looked flabby and hideous, as usual, but there was a ghost of something underneath it all that I hadn't seen in a while.

So yes, bikram. Still happening. Still hard. Still magic afterwards. Even better in this freezing weather.