Tuesday Ten

I went to a 10am Bikram yoga class today. It has been almost four years since my last Bikram Yoga class and I was interested to see if it would be easier, now that I am fitter and stronger.

Ten Thoughts Surrounding Bikram Class
Before:
1. Looking forward to this. It will sort me right out before Christmas and help dispel the last of that cold.

2. Let's have a quick look at the class timetable and the price plans. I'm sure this is going to go so well that I will want to come back all the time. I'm sure that, although I have to pay either bus fare or expensive parking, and it's in town and I don't live anywhere near town, this will become my regular thing to do.

3. Gosh, it's quite warm in here. Not as warm as last time though, I think. Clearly I am fitter and this is going to be easier.

During:
4. Wow. I am running with sweat. My legs look like corned beef. We've only done the breathing warm up. I hope that woman behind me huffs a bit harder next time and creates a little breeze over me.

5. Wait, what? Did she just turn the heat up? Maybe I will just sit this pose out.

6. Oh heavens I'm so hot please make it stop I think I'm going to pass out I feel a bit dizzy is it nearly over oh heavens I'm so hot please make it stop I think I'm going to pass out I feel a bit dizzy is it nearly over oh heavens I'm so hot please make it stop I think I'm going to pass out I feel a bit dizzy is it nearly over (repeat for approximately 70 minutes)

7. My mat smells of ammonia. Get up and leave, Sally. Only 5 more steps and there's fresh air.

After:
8. (2 mins after) Please stop talking pretentiously about your planned new tattoo and how it has to be artistically right for you and get out of my way so I can shower before I dissolve into a salty puddle on the floor. I am NEVER doing this again.

9. (10 mins after - post-shower) Oh good grief, when am I going to STOP. SWEATING? Surely I'm going to become ill with dehydration shortly?

10. (Half an hour after that) I feel amazing. It can't have been that bad. Maybe I just need to do it regularly to get used to it. I might manage to do all the poses next time.


It really was horrible. Towards the end, I fixated on reminding myself to write a blog post about how horrible it was so that I would never forget. This was what I did instead of attempting the poses, although I did try to do the first set each time, or the second set so I could see what the pose looked like first. It's not surprising that it's not my thing: I don't like yoga at the best of times, and I would always rather be too cold than too hot.

But....I do feel great afterwards. I wonder if it's worth it? 90 minutes of relative hell for all this feeling of well being. Maybe. Presumably it would get easier after a few classes?