2024 Weeknote 47

November has been something of a tricky month, hence my radio silence. I came back from half term with a lingering and a toothache, which absorbed two rounds of antibiotics and now no longer hurts, but there is still a swelling and I'm therefore left with a low-level persistent nagging concern that it's going to resurge at the worst possible time, such as on Christmas Eve or the plane I'll be taking to Kazakhstan for new year. 

Toothache is so debilitating. One evening I just sat in bed from getting home at 6pm, reading The Little Princess in the dark on my Kindle. Other evenings were not quite as dismal but I was not capable of doing anything at all, really. I have to shout out to my amazing dentist, Bianca, who did a big filling repair in the summer that I thought was the cause of the pain. She saw me quickly, gave me antibiotics and insisted I come back in for another appointment before the weekend, just in case there was any pain, then prescribed more antibiotics remotely and followed up with a phone appointment. She would not charge me for any of these appointments because the filling is guaranteed for a year, even though the x-ray suggested that the infection was on an adjacent tooth. 

I think I should probably go back in for the root canal she suggested, to be on the safe side, but I am full of overwhelm at the moment and I just can't envisage how I would fit it in over the next five weeks. 

I spent last week in Oxford, which was dreamy. It was mostly bitterly cold and snowed overnight on Monday night - I thought I had packed enough warm things but it turned out, I had not, so the week was chilly. My coursemates are all really lovely and we had a few dinners together in college. I hadn't quite managed all the reading, on account of the tooth, but I had definitely done enough to get the most out of the lectures. Some of it is a bit over my head. I'm not sure how I am going to manage the essay by Jan 7th, but I guess we will just see how that pans out. 

Really, I think I am worrying too much. I do have other things to do, namely my job (obvs) and also writing the next round of exam papers, but my job has been doing a good job of staying within work hours so far this year and I am almost done with my exam papers, just three more Q markschemes to write, which I might finish today. It's worrying me because they haven't sent out a schedule yet, in spite of contracting us in July, so I can't get any sense of when the pinch points are going to be. Also I am just counting available weekend days as possible essay-writing time when, realistically, I can work on it some weekday evenings as well. I'm sure it will be OK. It's just been a while since anybody gave me an essay title that I just didn't know how to answer. This happened all the time as an undergrad and rational me knows that I just need to read until something coalesces. 

What else has been going on over the past three weeks? I have been listening to Exam Nation by Sammy Wright, which is very funny and a nice foil for the heavier academic course reading. I've been very slowly reading A Gentleman In Moscow, which is truly delightful - one day this past week, I ran a bath and lay in it for 40 minutes reading before lectures started. I love a morning bath. The room I've booked for all the college weeks is cheap because the bathroom is on a different floor, rather than being en suite, but as a result it contains a bath, as well as the main boiler for the whole house, so it is really warm and not one of those dingy plastic cube bathrooms beloved of university accommodation. So, on Wednesday when we finished early, I walked to Lush and got myself a bath bomb. Next time, I will go prepared. 

I've been a bit neglectful of the gym. I am currently sitting in my gym clothes, which I put on as soon as I got up in the morning, but don't seem to be any closer to getting to the gym. The weather is howling today. Yesterday, on a whim, I went to Easy Runner in Bristol and had myself fitted for some new running trainers. I used to do running and I really enjoyed it; now the elliptical has started to get a bit easy, I thought I should graduate to a treadmill. I also really wished that I could go for a jog around the park in Oxford, but was stymied by my lack of suitable footwear. Now I have trainers. I need to go test them for a longer run on a treadmill, though. 

In spite of this, however, and all the toothy troubles and multiple colds (I caught another one last weekend, though it abated quickly), weight loss still seems to have been occurring, much to my delight. I had a little preview on the scale yesterday morning to check that the enthusiastic reintroduction of desserts into my diet whilst in Oxford had not 'ruined everything' and was pleasantly surprised to see that it had not; if that number holds until tomorrow (I do usually gain a little weight over the weekend, hence my usual practice being weighing just once a week on Mondays, but if it does...) then I will be 29lbs down since the start of the new school year. I tried on my old favourite ski trousers yesterday and they are the most comfortable they've ever been. I remember taking them on the school trip in 2020 and being unable to get the poppers to meet, let alone close. 

In fact, there are lots of clothes I can now wear that have not seen daylight for many years. If I thought I had a lot of clothes before, we are now reaching an embarrassing opulence of riches. 

What else, hmm hmm. My friend Kaff came over last Saturday for our annual Strictly and Chinese night. She told me about my old friend Tutt's wedding blessing, and how Tutt essentially seemed to make Kaff her bridesmaid without actually asking or telling her until the last minute. We haven't spoken in a number of years. I'm still sad at the loss of the friendship, but happy she's happily married now. 

I travelled to Oxford last Sunday in the company of my friends Jo and Kath, so that we could visit the Victorian Christmas market there. Mulled cider, chestnuts, strange crafts you only ever see at Christmas stalls. We ate a lovely pie in an old pub. We browsed the horror section of the Blackwells. A very lovely day out. 

I'm delighted at the return of Wolf Hall, love a bit of Rylance-as-Cromwell, and we've binge watched both series of Everyone Else Burns, which was very enjoyable. Second series better than the first, I think - I just think Sian Clifford is hilarious, which gave it the edge. 

I'll end with a snowy autumn tree picture from Oxford. I really can't put off going to the gym any longer.

2024 Weeknote 44

I spent most of this week away from home. I was in Oxford Sun-Wed and then caught the train to London Marylebone (a new experience) and then on to Kingston to see the smalls. We went trick or treating - a new experience for me - and I took Lara to the park for a bit to give SIB in law some time for a rehearsal she needed to go to. The nephew is getting lots of words now he is nearly 2 and, at one point, when Lara was counting up all her sweets after the trick or treating, she said 12 and he said 13. SIL and I looked at each other in surprise, I gather being able to count that high when one is not quite 2 is quite an achievement. 

In Oxford, I spent most of my time in the education library, on Tuesday pulling a 9-6 stint in there with just a brief break for lunch. I got quite a lot of reading done but, wow, some of those chapters are long. I spent most of Monday ploughing through one and even took the book away with me to my college library (open 24 hours, dreamy) so I could finish it. I had to skip about 10 pages in the middle that were full of the kinds of theoretical statistical equations I neither understand nor care to, but I got it done. I returned the book to its shelf happily the next morning, got myself settled and then checked the next book on my reading list. It was...the same book. Sigh. Happily the second chapter was less boring, though no shorter. 

On Wednesday, I ventured into the famous divinity library, part of which starred as the library in the Harry Potter films. I went and had a quick wander but there's no water allowed in that section and all the books are alarmed, so I gave it a swerve and settled for a view of the Radcliffe Camera (the iconic round one) instead. 

I took myself to a nice lunch at the Opera Cafe (site of the cardamom bun I enjoyed so much last time), to Barefoot bakery for coffee (also purveyors of cardamom buns though not quite as good; their pumpkin cupcake was top notch, though) and a couple of very nice early walks, once around University Parks and along the river Cherwell, the other to Port Meadow to see the river Thames. Autumn is really beautifully dressed around there and I enjoyed being near the water and having a tramp around. I had dinner at my college twice and even, the second time, spoke to some other people dining there. It was nice to feel part of Oxford, briefly, and I'm looking forward to returning in a couple of weeks. 

Unfortunately, the end of the week was marred by a toothache, a cough and some really aggressive histamines that kept me sneezing and miserable so constantly that I rebelled and bought an air purifier. Whether it's dust, cat fur or leaf mould, it is really quite severe, but the gadget seems to have helped. The toothache was so bad on Friday that I thought I'd never sleep, but happily I did and it has eased off to the occasional dull rumble. Still, I will be ringing for an emergency appointment tomorrow morning. It's a big filling replacement I had done in August and it just never really settled properly. Toothache is the worst. 

Some autumn niceness to distract me. 

2024 Weeknote 43

I have trudged my way all the way to half term. Deep joy. As usual, this is the longest term and the most sought holiday. Eight weeks is a lot. I actually had a big joy moment this week when I realised next term is only 6 and a half weeks, not 7 and a half as I had thought. 

I've mostly just kept my head down and kept going. I restarted Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys, which is teen fiction and therefore doable in the last week of term. The chapters are all very short which is a bit irritating but, as it turns out, perfect for such a stage of exhaustion. Some uni reading was also done and I bashed out one of the formative assessments I have to submit by 4th Nov. I'm off to Oxford in an hour so this week will be one of much nerding. 

I carried out the usual end of term ritual of going to the good bakery near the station for a pastry and coffee before work on Friday. I had cogitated all week about what pastry I would get, because usually I just get two or three and eat them through the day, hence why I'm on this diet in the first place. I settled on a pain au raisin but then, as I was ordering the pastries for colleagues, a little plate of butternut squash, feta, walnut and parmesan pastries slid onto the counter in front of me. Irresistible. No regrets from me at all. Unfortunately I did then buy the pain au raisin for later AND a millionaires shortbread, but spread them out through the day and will learn from this next time. Order. In. Advance. 

Off I go to be a student again, now. 

2024 Weeknote 42

I can't believe there are only 10 weeks left of this year. It is true that time does seem to pass more quickly as you get older, yet I've spent a lot of time thinking about years gone past this week, for various reasons, and everything feels like it was so very long ago now. Like, it's three years since I had covid. That is the same as the whole time it took me to get my history degree. 

Cue existential worrying about: what have I actually done with the past three years? But there are lots of things so, meh. 

This week has been a smooth one. The meeting I was meant to be at on Monday was abandoned, early in the day but too late to cancel the cover school had bought in for me, so I spent the day at home, doing reading for my Masters. I got through so much that I smugly ignored the reading for the rest of the week so I am now behind again. I start the course in 4 weeks - I matriculated in absentia (love using this phrase) on Friday - so I have a bit of time left. Next Sunday, I'm going to Oxford for three nights to get some library time in. And also to eat a cardamom bun from the amazing bakery I found when I went to Oxford in 2022 - see, I have definitely used the past three years gainfully. 

School was schooling. Meetings were had, classes were taught. I found myself getting irritated by the number of people who just want to talk to me or ask me questions when I'm trying to work, but I think this must be a symptom of it being close to half term. This time last year, half term had already begun. 

I went to a glow swim at the quarry after parents evening on Thursday. I took a new colleague from work (my replacement) who had swum there before but not in the dark, and my friend Rachael. It was 15 degrees, which is the temperature at which I eschew my wetsuit in the spring, so I waded right in in my swimsuit, full of bravado. It was quite chilly. We made it round OK but then, as we were ready to leave, it became clear that Rachael was not OK and special measures had to be put in place (another hot tea with sugar in it, sitting in a car with all the blowers going for 10 minutes) before she was OK to drive home. A sobering experience. I will be wearing my wetsuit next time. 

I had a very enlightening chat with the diabetes nurse at my local surgery, who praised me for my weight loss and told me that she approved of my plan to keep on with it, leave off the meds for now and have another blood test in December. It's not that I think I will be in remission by then (she said I might be, which was a surprise) but if I have made a start on reversing the sugar number, then I know this will encourage me to carry on with my weight loss plan. This week I wore a skirt I have never worn before, because it has never been comfortable enough. It's been in my wardrobe for maybe 8 years. Happy days. 

I also continue to enjoy the gym quite a lot and managed to spend over 90 minutes in there yesterday, though I did also manage to drop a 10kg weight plate on my foot, on its edge, so now I've got two black toes. Can confirm bare feet trainers really do offer the same foot protection you would expect from their name. Today, I went back to do a bit of cardio and thought I would try my nemesis, the stair-climber, again for the first time since the summer. On my last attempt I managed 11 minutes of a 14 minute programme and my heart rate was in the high 140s the whole time. Today, I did the whole 14 minutes and my heart rate didn't pass 140. This is both comforting (yey, healthier heart) and depressing (boo, I have to climb stairs faster to progress from here). 

I do realise people who talk about their diet and exercise regimes are sinfully boring but this is my blog, you know. I did eat a huge mound of hash browns covered in cheese and BBQ beef yesterday at knitting group, so it's not all leaves of lettuce. 

I continued to read The Gentleman of Moscow, very slowly, and then the library wanted it back and I couldn't renew it because so many other people want it. This explains why the copy was so pristine - I'd wager hardly anybody has managed to read the whole thing within a 3 week loan window. I bought it for my Kindle instead. 

I've been watching, in small pieces, Who Killed the KLF? which is a documentary I've had recorded for some time. It's all very interesting and I definitely feel like I get the whole thing better now I am coming into my full middle-aged cynicism and general rage. 

I've started knitting a baby jumper, the usual garter stitch one, for an ex-student. I never taught her but I did take her skiing, and she has built quite the myth in her head about the amount of interaction we had while she was a student, but she was a really nice kid who had a pretty awful home life and I was delighted when she messaged on Twitter in May to say she was expecting. I contacted her at the start of the month to ask if I could send her a gift, intending to pick up a pack of babygros, but when she replied this week she said she hasn't been doing so well, struggling with her own family a bit, so I decided I would knit her something instead. I picked out a peachy-orange shade of Smoothie I had in my stash but, in the jumper, it is decidedly pink (or salmon, as two people separately identified it at knitting group yesterday) so I might have to make another one in blue and wait to see what she gives birth to. Luckily it is a mega-quick knit. I've done the back and am already halfway up the front. 

I'd then like to knit up the Joe's Toes slipper kit I bought at Wonderwool in April (I never did post about my haul, something else to add to the to-do list) so I have a nice slipper to wear while I'm away in Oxford. I wonder how many things I can justify for 'while I'm in Oxford'. I've already got a new dressing gown and today I ordered a new backpack, for all my notebooks and pens. I am eyeing up pyjamas and considering a new fountain pen. 

All this is just a distraction from the reading, of course. 

2024 Weeknote 41

It's been a very pleasant couple of weeks. 

I've been to three different book talks -

1. Neneh Cherry sharing her new memoir, A Thousand Threads. She was surprisingly shy in front of the audience, considering this is the woman who really was notorious for her ability to act as she damn well pleased on stage through my formative years. It was a really interesting talk and it was clear there was 80s Wild Bunch royalty in the audience, though I wasn't cool enough to spot them - at one point she talked about Massive Attack staying in the back bedroom of her flat and said, 'I think...Daddy G, are you here?' to which she received a replying whoop from the gallery. Amazing. The man next to me (who introduced himself as Jim when he sat down) asked the best question about what music Neneh remembers stirring her soul first. 

2. Richard Ayoade sharing The Unfinished Harauld Hughes. I brought Mr Z along to this one as Richard Ayoade is funny and we both appreciate him. It was the wrong book talk to be Mr Z's first, though. It didn't really occur to me that what we would get was Richard Ayoade in character as Richard Ayoade, leaving very little room for finding out about him or any of the things book people normally talk about at these things; the whole thing was more about Harauld Hughes than anything else. It was...surreal. Luckily the woman behind us found it all extremely hilarious so Mr Z and I bonded over how irritating she was. 

3. Rev Richard Coles interviewing Ian Rankin. I first discovered Ian Rankin when I was living in Vegas and visiting the library most weeks, cycling over during the day to stave off boredom. I was looking for something else but saw a long row of both Ian Rankin and Robert Rankin. I picked the former and found the intense Britishness of the Rebus novels enormously comforting when I was a bit homesick. I'm afraid he might hate that, as a Scot, but there it is. 

I am a bit behind with my Rebus reading, having only recently finished Exit Music - now it turns out there must be half a dozen books between that one and Midnight and Blue, which he was hawking at the book talk this week. I arrived 15 minutes early, but, since my presence definitely lowered the average age by a good few years, most of the seats were already taken. I found one on the end of a pew marked 'Warden' which had a lovely cushion on it; having sat down and discovered I was a foot taller than the rest of the audience, though, I removed it, to the relief of the couple behind me. 

Anecdotes. Anyway - this was a lovely, cosy chat between two people who clearly knew each other quite well and I enjoyed all the insights into Rebus and how Rankin feels about the character and the books, and other things. 

Love a book talk.

I haven't actually done much pleasure reading of A Gentleman in Moscow but I have been trying hard to get through it because I know it will be on reserve for lots of other people. It's good so far, quite entertaining. Other than that I've been reading lots for my Masters. Some of it is impenetrably academic, some of it is borderline entertaining. Today, as I hit my 6th or 7th reading, I realised with relief that things were starting to overlap - this was always a sure sign, as an undergrad, that understanding was beginning to coalesce. I start the taught course in five weeks so this is timely. 

I have been enjoying my job. If you're a regular reader, this will probably come as a relief to you as I have been very whingey about my job this year. It turns out that just doing one job instead of two jobs smashed together into the time available for one job is actually quite pleasant. It's rare for anything on my job list, which is long, to be too urgent, which means I can spend some time actually thinking about what I want to do and how I want to do it. Who knows whether I will actually have time to enact my plans but I don't feel too much pressure to do and be everything and everywhere all at once. I like my new office and my new office mate. I'm less liking the fact that everyone seems to think I automatically know everything now, and comes to me very often with quite trivial things that I would have just worked out for myself when I was in their position, but presumably this feeling will not last too long. 

I haven't yet been successful at the twisted German cast on or whatever it is called, I tried with a YouTube video and just got frustrated and gave up. So I have been working on the linen top instead, which is going much quicker now I am past the ribbing (obvs). 

The health kick continues. I was an astonishing 15lbs down by last Monday. This week has been a very eaty week so we will see what happens tomorrow but, wow. I am pleased. According to my very sporadic records, I haven't been this weight since 2017. Loads of my old clothes fit much more comfortably and today, joy, a skirt I bought a number of years ago that has never fitted but I didn't send it back in time actually did up. It's a little snug yet but...it did up. 

I'm actually enjoying the gym, as well. I stick Brat on (cringing in the knowledge that this is really not what the creator had in mind) and smash out 20 minutes on the elliptical without really noticing. Yesterday, it was nearly empty in there and I stayed for 90 minutes, making up exercises on various bits of equipment. I've made some good progress with the amount of weight I can lift too. It's actually fun. Next, I want to try the treadmill that is just a caterpillar track that you power yourself, but I am a bit scared of falling off it, so I am still plucking up the courage. 

I'll leave you with some favourite pictures of autumn - all the pets enjoying some Saturday morning sunshine yesterday and an awesome rainbow from last week. Rainbows remind me of my y6 English teacher who was horribly sarcastic and mean when I put my hand up in a lesson to point out a rainbow outside. But you don't get to see rainbows very often. I think it's important to take the pause to look at one whenever it cares to appear. This one was splendid and so clear, I could see the reflection of it in an arc over the main one. 

2024 Weeknote 39

This was the last week of September and also the last week that I would class as unusual at work. This is a completely arbitrary measure, there are plenty of events coming up that would count as unusual, but this one had open evening (erghhhhh) and then an inset day that I was planning and leading in it, so I couldn't quite see beyond it. Happily both of those things went well and I rounded off my week by meeting an old friend for coffee. We were study buddies during our NPQ last year and, where most people are like, 'Oh I never met with mine', I valued mine highly because she always had time to meet (she is an exams officer with no teaching load) and it forced me to do all the reading so we could have a proper discussion. She was in Bristol for some training so I learned some things about Bristol's new road layout and patronised one of its priciest car parks so we could have a catch up. A very pleasant end to the week.

It was Mr Z's birthday on Tuesday but we did not really observe. I have now bought him a present but it isn't here yet. 

On Wednesday, I sneezed three time in rapid succession and then immediately knew I was getting a cold. It hung around nastily all of Thursday, when I was in school from 7am to 9pm of course, and I drowned it in my usual combination of Berocca, and hot water with fresh lemon and manuka honey (not all together, I hasten to add). I imagine this is just a placebo effect or the impact of drinking loads of liquids, but that, combined with going to bed as soon as I got in on Thursday, meant that I was feeling much better by Friday. It lingers in the corners of my eyes and in my sinuses, but I am feeling relieved it was not worse. 

As a result, though, I have had to eschew the gym most of the week and am now feeling like I must have gained a stone. I did my weekly try-on of clothes that only sort of fit yesterday, though, and was able to zip up a skirt that I haven't worn since I changed jobs in 2016, and the skirt I bought in August is almost loose now. This is very inspiring. I'm going to slope off to the gym in a minute, so I can try to maintain the downward trajectory. 

We finished the most recent series of Clarkson's Farm and I enjoyed the return of Bake Off. I was very excited when a book I reserved at the library FINALLY came in, so I started that yesterday - it's called A Gentleman in Moscow. It is in such high demand that I have a feeling my renewals will be limited so I had better get cracking.

I started the Masters readings this week too, by watching some of the pre-course lectures. I hoped to watch all five, one per weeknight, but only got as far as two, so that is a job for the rest of today and next week. I was getting quite into it, so hopefully it won't seem like a chore. 

Mexican dense bean salad

I've been experimenting with new lunches this term, ever since I came across the dense bean salad trend on Tiktok. It seems to be very much a thing, though, realistically, I have been eating lunch this way for many years now; I was fondly remembering when I used to make up huge salad jars for the whole week. But it's nice to see other people sharing recipes because it gives me fresh ideas, particularly for dressings, which I'm not good at.

I've figured out that the best long-lasting salads have robust veggies in them and to date, it's usual for me to add a couple of packets of mange tout, but recently I have been going with a coleslawy base, which adds plenty of bulk but not much flavour. This is good but requires some robust other flavours and also something nice, because shredded cabbage is just so...worthy. 

Thus I broke my own rule this week and added avocado - which qualifies as something nice - to this one, but it held up well in the back of the fridge (we've got a Smeg fridge and it is actually magic, tbf) for the week. Nobody gasp in horror at this revelation, but I take my lunch out of my fridge at home and it sits on my desk at work until around 1pm, sans refrigeration (yes, even with meat/fish in it, don't come for me, I apparently have an iron constitution) - by Thursday, this salad was not coping with that and had a somewhat fizzy flavour, so I put it in the work fridge (double bagged) today and it was still good by the time lunchtime came around. 

• 1 can Mexican beans
• 1 can butter beans
• 1 large can sweetcorn
• 1 bunch coriander (150g, really whack it in there, it's not for you if you don't like coriander)
• 2 peppers, any colour, I like yellow
• 2 avocados
• 300g cabbage
• 2 large carrots
• 3 limes
• 2 tbsp oil, I have cold-pressed avocado oil at the moment because I'm apparently incapable of walking past Holland and Barrett without going in to buy something
• Salt and pepper

Shred the cabbage and carrot. Chop the coriander, except the stalks, and combine with the cabbage and carrot in a bowl. Drain and rinse the canned stuff, add to the bowl. Chop the peppers and avocados and add those too. Salt and pepper to taste. Juice the limes and shake hard in a jar with the oil - mine turned the most wonderful garish chartreuse colour; dress the salad. Shovel into containers. It makes five portions of about 350 cal each and all five of your fruit/veg servings in one meal. I topped mine with Mr Z's Mexican chicken breast.