I talked it over with Mr Z and we agreed that I could potentially spend a year in Durham doing the course, but naturally that became another thing (like going part-time) that was never actually going to happen.
Then, last autumn, I was chatting to friends who asked what I might do if I actually did what I keep threatening to do and stop working for a year. I was having some coaching through school as a new leader at the time and she told me to write a list. I went back to look at the Durham Masters, but it was no more. Sigh. Oh, but here's the same option at Oxford.
Fast forward to Friday -
Made it. It was like having an out-of-body experience. I couldn't quite believe I was there. Naturally, I have already talked myself into believing that the only real entry requirement for Oxford as a post-grad is the ability to pay and therefore my achievement isn't really an achievement but, hey. It really did feel like an achievement once I got there. The course is full of interesting and accomplished people. I received my student card and got to look round my college, where the woman giving us the welcome speech casually dropped in that the King is one of the fellows there. I sat and listened to the head of the department telling me about her holiday and then fretting that I might not make it back to Bristol in time to see Six and all I could think was, this woman is on the government's panel looking into assessment, why is she worrying about me getting stuck in traffic.
We were also given a list of all the libraries we can now access with the student card so I pretty much instantly booked myself into the college accommodation for three nights in half term, so I can do a library tour. I've worked out where I can rent a bike. It's just too exciting. I want to start now - but actually there is a large amount of work to do first. Now we see whether it is actually possible to study part-time for a Masters whilst doing a senior teaching role.
The mark reviews roll on. They swallowed my whole weekend. Far fewer than last year, goodness knows how I managed it then though, because it is proving tricky. Plus there are shenaningans going on at the board that, naturally, they dropped on his with no warning and so I'm not wanting to do much for them at the moment, truth be told. So there's been no reading time and no knitting and very little TV - I watched an episode of The Perfect Couple on Netflix yesterday but it wasn't very compelling. We watched an episode of Clarkson's Farm today which was better. I still don't like that man (it's hard to forgive 'striking teachers should be shot in front of their families') but it is a good show. Plus I think his local council are taking those personal feelings to work with them, which is a bit grim.
I did finish Ultra-Processed People on audiobook during my drive to Oxford, it was really very interesting, if a bit depressing. I don't eat masses of UPF anyway but it did feel like the message of the book was, it's all awful and there's nothing we can do. Once again I feel we've sewn the seeds of our own species' destruction. He wasn't preachy though and there was a significant social injustice slant on the book, which I always enjoy, being the choir, as it were.
I have been on a health kick since term started and have managed to go to the gym or do some sort of exercise every day in September so far, except for Friday, because I couldn't squeeze it in around Oxford and going to see Six in the evening. Yep, I even went at the end of the first day of term. I don't know who I think I am. I've also been tracking my calories and it is utterly depressing how much of an impact these changes are having already. My resting heart rate is the lowest it has been since I got a Fitbit in 2016. I'm sleeping soundly and waking up feeling rested. My Fitbit has moved my cardio score (I don't really know what this means) from 'Poor' where it has always been to 'Poor to fair'. I've had no post-lunch urgent visits to the toilet, though hormones would normally have dictated at least two of these in the past week. I've not walked out of school for an emergency olive stick once. I can already fit into the new skirt I bought that I could not do up at the end of the holidays. The scale is happy with me. I hope that tomorrow I will find that I am the lightest I've been since I got covid in 2021.
The realisation that I have been the agent of my own discomfort for so long is sobering. Hopefully I will be able to hang onto the feeling when I am bored with the novelty of gorging myself on fruit or not feeling like creating yet another dense bean salad from my imagination because I'm too cheap to subscribe to that tiktok woman's substack.
The week was rounded off at the theatre with Jenny and friends, seeing Six. What a fantastic cast this was! It was as entertaining as ever. Definitely my favourite musical. Cleves is still my favourite queen.
No comments:
Post a Comment