31. What did you do on your birthday?
I got my nails done, then drove into Bristol and got softserve and a babka from a favourite bakery. Mr Z made curry and flatbreads for tea. Other than that, I packed for my holiday, worked on my metanalysis and was quiet at home. I don't often have birthdays at home so that made a change but it was also quite muted because we were into Mother Z's final fortnight, though we didn't know it, so Mr Z spent much of the day round there.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I really can't think of anything. It was quite a satisfying year. As I think I've mentioned before, I would have liked more down time, but I'm not sure that really fits the word satisfying.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion this year?
Dopamine dressing. Colour. How a primary school child might dress for an office job.
I have reintroduced trousers into my wardrobe this year, now that there is less belly. I had my Vietnam-crafted suit trousers taken in at a local mender's and bought some pink herringbone tweed trousers from Boden (with the jacket - the suit feels a bit much worn all together but I do get compliments). I hadn't really worn trousers to work for about 10 years, apart from loose palazzo-style under short dresses, so that was new.
My favourite new shop discovery was Aligne. I have spent so long shopping in just one or two places, resigned to the fact nobody stocks bigger sizes, that I stopped looking elsewhere, so it was pleasant to discover that many brands have moved on a bit now and do stock an extended size range. My only issue with Aligne is that their dresses are so short, especially for those of us who are long of body and fat of thigh - what should be a clean and slightly angular look becomes positively salacious on me. I am also quite picky in that I don't like midi or maxi length, really: I want something between mid-thigh and knee. It's not really a bad thing that there are not loads of items in the range I want to buy, though. I do probably have enough clothes to last me for the rest of my life.
I also bought more pearls. I got a long string at Wonderwool and then a double row with a big crystal flower clasp from an antiques stall at a little market in Oxford. Then Mr Z gifted me pearl earrings for Christmas. I believe this is me leaning into middle-age jewellery, as if my burgeoning collection of brooches didn't already indicate this clearly enough.
34. What kept you sane?
Mr Z. The cats. Getting more sleep. Doing hot and cold things - swimming, sauna. The gym. Actually love the gym now, what a weirdo.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most?
OK, hear me out - I have to choose Charli XCX. I just very much enjoy watching her live her projection of her best life whilst at the same time she is grinding and has been very upfront about the fact that pretty much everyone in her life is someone she wants to work with. I appreciate a woman who loves her work to the point of being unable to ever put it down (one of my tribe). I appreciate the smoking, I miss smoking. I loved the wedding, both of them. I'm really very anti Class A drugs but, meh.
I'm sure there are lots of people who are more worthy due to their political activism but, honestly, I've probably consumed more content about Charli XCX than anyone else. This feels vaguely pathetic as someone almost old enough to have birthed her but, I must own my truth.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Immigration. I am appalled at how anti-immigration rhetoric is now just acceptable mainstream opinion. I hate the fact so many people seem to think people shouldn't be able to claim asylum, the way that it is brutal and deep-seated racism dressed up as something more socially acceptable, that the lies attached to it are repeated and believed by so many seemingly normal people, that it's used as a scapegoat for social issues caused by nearly two decades of reduced public spending because a bunch of super-rich bankers decided to crash the world's economy so they could enrich themselves. I could go on and on and on about how damaging, hateful and, frankly, embarrassing it is. Mostly I just don't talk about it. Nobody will ever change my mind so I don't see much point in trying to change anybody else's.
37. Who did you miss?
I missed my dad far more than I ever expected to. I suppose it's because, though we didn't speak much, we did speak at least once a year. It has now been two years since he died. I don't think there's much I'd have to tell him but I'd be interested in his take on the current political situation, though it has to be said that living in the US had turned some of his views a bit white supremacist - not right-wing, but definitely more than a little bit racist. Or maybe he was always that way but we just never really talked about it.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I'm sure I must have met some new people last year but I actually can't remember any of them.
39. What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?
Actively plan things for downtime. Don't leave it until you get the break, when your decision fatigue, executive dysfunction, whatever you want to call it, will result in all of that relaxation time being whiled away in a combination of scrolling, listlessness, guilt and regret. And you know, it might be easy to say that doing nothing is necessary and is relaxing in itself, and I can agree to a point, but what's MORE relaxing is nourishing mind, body and soul with a carefully-curated selection of your favourite activities and actually having them ready and planned so you don't have to make any choices but can just relax into enjoying them.
Pretty long life lesson.
40. What is a quote that sums up your year?
'You can't pour from an empty jug'.
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