Library Confession

I took a book back to the library today that I've had since 2020. I did not know I still had it. I am recording the episode here because the librarian didn't seem to understand what I was telling her and I feel the need to confess fully, for avoidance of doubt.

Firstly, I have the utmost respect for libraries and value them highly. Mother Hand worked in a library throughout her pregnancy with me so I feel we have a special bond (me and libraries, I mean). 

Here's how it happened. I wanted an obscure history text I heard some nerdy history teachers discussing. It was only available online for megabucks, so I turned to the library system. There was one copy available, but it was in the stack of the library in the next city over. No matter, I thought, I am not in a hurry. This was around about December 2019. 

The book took awhile, obviously. I got the notification of its arrival around February 2020. That was a busy month for me, I had a ski trip and a huge job interview to worry about, so by the time I made it to the library to collect, it was March. I went in during the unmanned hours as this was the only time I had. The book was so old and neglected, it wouldn't scan through the self-service. I tried several times. I even tried to see if I could type in the barcode, but no dice (this was where the librarian started to either not believe me or misunderstand me). 

I considered for a while and decided I would just take the book. Nobody had checked it out for over a decade. I would come back with it during manned hours to check it out properly. 

Well. We all know what happened next. Due to the pandemic, the book stayed with me, unchecked out. Shamefully, I did not read it. It inched gently under the pile of books by my bed, until it was at the very back of the very bottom. Meanwhile, I sourced a copy to buy for not many pence, in the USA, and had it sent to Father Hand for me to collect on my nest visit. In a classic Father Hand-me interaction, he read it and gave me an overview - 'Interesting enough, but it is a textbook'. I collected it when I saw him last. 

Fast forward to this summer, when the pile o'books was finally dismantled. Oh, the shame of finding the book languishing there! I resolved I would take it into the library to explain myself, rather than surreptitiously drop it in the returns box, anonymously.

The librarian gave me short shrift. She told me to hang around while she checked to ensure I had not amassed a hefty fine (I would have loved this, I am constantly running up small fines as a way of contributing funds to the library system, on account of our special bond). Turns out, the book has dropped off the system. This news was delivered in an accusatory way, though I do wonder, was it on the system when I got it? - because it wouldn't scan. The librarian did manage to stop short of rolling her eyes but it was clear my (to my mind, very rational) explanation was falling on barren ground. She would return it to the relevant authority, she said. 

So now, it is here. My confession. I did do a terrible thing, but in my defence, I would never steal a book from a library on purpose. I was just a victim of circumstance. And untidiness.