Scenes from the Classroom #13

I have a feisty, gobby girl in my year 11 class. She is fearless. I have taught her for three years now so we get on quite well. I call her Number 1 (it is an old joke going back to year 9).

Me: (Set task involving Post Its, make a big thing about having provided proper Post Its which I bought in the sale instead of generic, less sticky Post Its)
No1: Miss, you're like weirdly obsessed with stationery. It's worrying.
Me: I think you have to be a bit obsessed with stationery to be a teacher.
No1: No. You don't.
Me: But being stationery obsessed means I find cool diaries like this! (Holds up diary with "I am very busy" on it)
No1: Yeah, but you're not though. You spend too long on stationery. I bet you don't have any friends. Come on, when was the last time you left the house other than to go to work?

(As a reminder here, I have taught her for a long time and he have a good working relationship: I would not normally put up with this sort of thing)

Me: Er...well I went to a knitting show on Saturday.
No1: Doesn't count.
Me: Er. Hmm. Oohh! I went to yoga on Sunday!
No1: But did you talk to anyone?
Me: It's yoga! You're not allowed to talk!
No1: But even if you were allowed to talk Miss, you don't have any friends so you wouldn't have had anyone to talk to.

Fearless. Later, she asked where the squirrel had gone, since all the trees outside my room were cut down over the summer, along with my bird feeders. I said I hoped it was dead.

No1: Miss, I'm going to train a load of squirrels and let them loose in your house.
Me: Good. My cat loves killing squirrels.
No1: But I'll train them!
Me: But, since you've pointed out I never leave the house, I'll be able to see you coming so you won't get them in in the first place.

It is quite fun to banter with someone so sharp.